The Neanderthal Post

Survival of the Blog

Are You Becoming Barack Obama?

By Simon Dumenco

 A mustachioed Teddy Roosevelt astride his galloping horse. JFK with wind-ruffled hair and Wayfarers. Ronald Reagan in Brylcreem and black tie. When it comes to representing American masculinity, Hollywood’s got nothing on the White House. The celebrity-industrial complex does its best to advance certain sorts of manly ideals—think Clint Eastwood and George Clooney—but movie stars, subject as they are to fickle studio marketing budgets, fade in and out of view. Whereas the president dominates the news, and our collective consciousness, every damn day for four or eight years running.The chief executive’s behavior sets the tone for what it is to be a boss, a father, and a husband, as well as a leader—though not always for the better. For every Roosevelt or Kennedy or Reagan, there’s a sweaty control freak (Nixon) or a mealymouthed milquetoast in a cardigan (Carter). Among our recent, younger, theoretically more relatable presidents, Bill Clinton, the feels-your-pain empath (enthusiast of McDonald’s and other oral treats), didn’t exactly inspire men to greater heights. And George W., the biz-school frat guy, forever mispronouncing big words and flunking big tests, lowered the bar with a self-satisfied smirk.

Then, in 2008, the country voted for change—in an election that was essentially a referendum on guyhood. Obama had a famously thin résumé, so it came down to this: calm, cerebral young black dude or cranky, hotheaded old white guy.  The nation spoke loud and clear, but did we—or at least the 54 percent of the electorate that didn’t vote for John McCain—really mean to vote for the Obamafication of the American male? We watch the occupant of the Oval Office more than any other living male, and yet the effect he has on our notions of manhood, our sense of ourselves as American men, largely escapes attention.

In Obama’s case, sometimes he lives up to the male ideal and sometimes he doesn’t (let’s overlook those boxy, too-wide-in-the-shoulder suits and his dorky dad jeans, shall we?). But it might not matter all that much, because in voting for a radically different avatar of American masculinity, we were, in a way, voting for Barack Obama to change us. Which is exactly what he’s doing.
For some, it’s what’s not there that matters. Byron Hurt, a New York–area filmmaker who last fall produced a documentary titled Barack & Curtis, sees Obama’s ascent as the rejection of “defiant, in-your-face manhood.” Hurt’s film drew a parallel between George W.’s masculine identity and that of 50 Cent—a.k.a. Curtis Jackson—reminding us that Fitty once admiringly called Dubya “gangsta.” (“I wanna meet George Bush,” he said. “Just shake his hand and tell him how much of me I see in him.”) “Barack Obama doesn’t have to front like he’s hard,” Hurt says. “It’s a deeply secure presentation of masculinity.”  Continue reading…

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Celebs, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Rise Of The Hot Jewish Girl

By Christopher Noxon

Cheerleaders. Five-inch heels. Big, natural boobs. Those are merely the most obvious sexual fixations most men have, but there’s another undeniable one: ladies of the tribe. It seems that America can’t get enough smoking-hot Semitic tush lately.  In a recent poll on the porn blog Fleshbot, “Jewish girls” ranked second among kinks (the winner: “freckles”). Jewesses aren’t just the rage in the triple-X realm, either: They’re seducing goyim on Mad Men and Glee and giving movie geeks conniptions over reports of JILF-on-JILF action between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in Darren Aronofsky’s upcoming Black Swan.

That Jewish women have become the ethnic fetish du jour is all the more remarkable given that Jews represent a truly tiny minority (2.2 percent) of the U.S. population. In recent years, God’s chosen menfolk have been objects of affection, too, though they draw their appeal from cuddly schlubbiness, not sexual energy—consider Judd Apatow’s all-Jewish Frat Pack (Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, et al.). But unlike their funnyman brothers, Jewish girls have had to overcome the old stinging JAP stereotype of frigidity, whininess, and big hair. 

Recently, however, the Fran Drescher rep has given way to a more smoldering image. Think cultural mutts like Rachel Weisz, Emmanuelle Chriqui, and Rachel Bilson—women who have little in common beyond sultriness and Star of David necklaces.  And though most guys don’t think religious observance adds to the allure, some of the dirtiest-minded do. How else to account for the popularity of “Frum porn,” raunchy photos of religious Jews getting busy? Hard-core pics of girls in sheitels giving blow jobs have earned a devoted following far outside the faith—from men who probably aren’t exactly sure what a sheitel is (for the record: it’s a wig worn to show one’s modesty). “It’s like the Catholic-schoolgirl fetish—we all want to defile that purity,” says Jewish porn star James Deen, who does so frequently.

Jews are, of course, no strangers to porn—the Hebrew hall of fame includes venerable names like Ron Jeremy, Nina Hartley, and Seymore Butts. Only recently, however, have performers begun to actively embrace their roots. “I never thought my Jewishness would be an asset,” says hard-core superstar Joanna Angel, who grew up in an Orthodox family and has gone on to star in films like Cum on My Tattoo and Porny Monster. She still fasts on Yom Kippur, avoids bacon, and checks in with her mother more than is strictly necessary. She often finds herself mothering the entire crew on the porn set, traipsing around in stiletto heels and crotchless underwear and asking if everyone has had enough to eat.  Continue reading…

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Humor, News | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Finally – Space Beer Is Here

Welcome to the future of beer drinking. Sapporo’s new Space Barley beer is made from barley that has descended directly from seeds that were aboard the International Space Station for five months back in 2006.

The Japanese brewer has produced only 250 six-packs of Space Barley beer and are making them available to customers picked at random who register at the Sapporo website (yes, the website is in Japanese, sorry).

Oh sure, space beer is cool and all, but it’s not cheap. A six-pack costs $110. But at least your money will go towards a good cause – profits are being donated to Okayama University to promote space science research.

seen at justaguything.com

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Health/Sports, News | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Star-Trek Apartment

Tony Alleyne is a British hardcore Star-Trek fan who decided to transform his home into the ultimate home-made Star-Trek set.  Tony began his project in 1999, after his wife left him, he aimed to give his flat the ultimate make-over and turn it into a Star-Trek bachelor pad. He finished his masterpiece in 2004, but then decided to turn it into the Voyager starship.  Now his 500 square feet apartment features voice-activated lighting, air conditioning, LED lights, but is missing a bed. A few years ago doctors advised Alleyne to sleep on the floor to cure his sciatica, so he took this opportunity to transform his bedroom into a transporter room.

After hand-crafting the decor elements himself, Tony Alleyne opened his very own design company. Unfortunately this over-the-top project also got him broke. His ex-wife, who owns the apartment, put it up for sale, but so far no one is interested. Tony says he’s happy the deal didn’t go through, as he loves living in his very own Voyager ship.

If you are interested in acquiring the Star-Trek apartment or if you just want to take a virtual tour, visit 24thcid.com.

View more of the Star-Trek apartment…

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Dining/Living, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Eight Small Films That Made It Big

Low to no budget isn’t a handicap in making a hugely successful film as the eight movies on this list proves…

My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Often cited as the most profitable independent film of all time, My Big Fat Greek Wedding cost $5m and took nearly $350m worldwide.

Paranormal Activity
On a reported budget of $11,000, the shocking new release is one of the most profitable films of all time, having taken over $100m in America alone.

Rocky
Another earlier success was Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky which on a budget of $1m made a worldwide total of $225m.

View the rest of the small budget films…

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Celebs, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One Legged Latin Dancer

Incredible dancing skills, makes me want to sign up for salsa classes…

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, Dining/Living, Health/Sports | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How To: Score at the Office Christmas Party

Company Christmas parties are about sharing a love for Christ with your co-workers, as well as finding someone to rub genitals with.

Step #1: Do Your Homework 

The odds are pretty good that there are going to be more than a few women at the office Christmas party, and they can’t all be viable options for you.  You’ll have to know which chicks to watch and which ones to forget about, so it’s important to be prepared.  Pay close attention on casual Fridays.  Watch for things like tramp stamps, exposed underwear straps, and big slutty heels.  Those things say “I have in the past, or still do, enjoy casual intercourse with partners I wish to never speak to again.”   

******Continue reading how to score…*******

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Dining/Living, Humor | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Taylor Lautner vs. Kanye West

Twilight” actor Taylor Lautner re-imagined the 2009 VMAs for his SNL monologue, complete with a backflip, fight moves and more.

Lautner, who is supposedly dating Taylor Swift in real life, made fun of himself for standing on stage doing nothing while Kanye West interrupted Swift’s speech during the actual VMAs, and he then defended her honor by fighting a mannequin of Kanye.

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Celebs, Dating/Sex, Humor | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hugh Grant: ‘I was drunk when I bought Elizabeth Taylor painting that made £11m profit’

By Daily Mail Reporter

Hugh Grant has confessed he was drunk when he  bought a painting of Elizabeth Taylor that later made him an £11million profit.  The actor was lauded as an art connoisseur when he bought the work by Andy Warhol for £2million.  And he was praised as a master of timing when he sold it six years later for £13million.   But the star has now admitted that his windfall had little to do with an eye for art.  Grant, 49, had been on a two-day drinking spree when he ordered an assistant to bid for the painting at an auction in New York.

He said: ‘And to my horror, she did, and even worse, got it.’  He added: ‘It all began with drink. I’d been having a drunken dinner with my father the night before, and I said, “We ought to go see my brother Jamie. You know, the Concorde’s amazing.”   ‘And he said, “I hear it is.” So I bought him a Concorde ticket and we went. We had lunch, drank a lot of beer.

‘And I was thinking about some stuff in the Sotheby’s auction and I saw the Liz Taylor.   I slightly regret selling it now, even though it made me rich.’

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, Celebs | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How To Sell Your Body For Cash

In literature, men foolishly sell parts of themselves they can’t afford. Goethe’s Faust sells his soul for the same thing Wagner’s Wotan gives up his eye for, which is the same prize for which Adam surrenders his innocence: knowledge. Self-destruction is the inevitable result. Damn, omniscience is costly!

Why sell something unrecoverable of yours in exchange for silly abstractions when your body already produces a host of renewable cash cows? Truth is, the modern world offers men various ways to prostitute their bodies and its resources, and most of them won’t leave you feeling desperate for a fix and a shower.

Sperm

Being a sperm donor takes two basic male desires — orgasms and money — and, in a seemingly “too good to be true” moment, combines them. That said, sperm banks hold to exceptionally high standards: The extensive, multilayered screening process eliminates about 95% of us.  To begin, you typically have to be between 18 and 35 years old, and in solid health. Then, prepare to expose your family tree to a thorough, honest dissection, going back two generations. You’ll be asked about tattoos, drug use, experimental sex, your grandma’s TB, your uncle’s alcoholism, and your mother’s schizoid episodes.  If invited in, you’ll be given a sterile cup and offered “aides” in the form of movies or magazines, or both; just don’t count on a hand job from the hottie at the front desk. You’ll be instructed not to use a lubricant, as it can contaminate the “specimen” (or load, or wad, whichever you care to call it). Your boys will then be tested for everything from the obvious (sperm count) to the unexpected (forward momentum), and that’s just for starters. 

If accepted as a donor, you’ll earn between $50 to $200 per specimen. You’ll be expected to rub one out into their cups two to three times per week and make a commitment to the program that lasts six months or longer depending  Continue reading…

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Dining/Living, Health/Sports | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pink Blasts Prince

by BANG Showbiz

Pink has branded Britain’s Prince William a “redneck”.

The ‘So What’ singer – who is a member of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) – wrote to the prince about why fox hunting is wrong and was shocked by his response.  She told Q magazine: “”I wrote to him to protest about fox hunting and I figured he would be this stuffy, privileged a**hole.   But he’s like a redneck from the south.

“If you’re brought up shooting and hunting animals, if you really think it’s second nature and you’re blasting away then it’s hard to see the other point of view.  You need educating.”  Prince William is not the only member of the British royal family that Pink has written to.   She once penned a letter to William’s grandmother Queen Elizabeth about the use of bear skin hats on her guards and was disappointed not to receive a response.   She revealed: “To be truthful I was really surprised I didn’t get a reply to that one.   I wasn’t just writing in and complaining, and it certainly was not a publicity stunt.

“I actually proposed a plan.   Stella McCartney had designed theses replacement hats for the guards using fake fur.  I felt we were solving the problem for her and offering a viable solution.   But she never wrote back.   Maybe she doesn’t have any of my stuff on her iPod.”

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, Celebs | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment