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The Sex-Starved Wife

WebMD Feature from “Redbook” Magazine

By Michele Weiner Davis

What if you find that you’re the one craving a deeper sexual connection, but he simply doesn’t want sex very often — or ever? How can you rescue your sex life? Read on for couple-tested solutions for bringing intimacy and heat back into your relationship, in this exclusive excerpt from the new book by REDBOOK Love Network expert Michele Weiner Davis.   Maybe your marriage started out on fire — you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. But somewhere along the line, your husband lost interest in sex. Or maybe the signs of his sexual sluggishness were there all along; you just assumed things would get better, but if anything, they’ve gotten worse.

You’ve grown tired of always being the one to initiate, always being the one who cares. The fights have become exasperating. The loneliness is killing you. And he just doesn’t get it. Or worse yet, you wonder, Does he get it? Is he doing this to punish me? You ask yourself, What’s wrong with me? Am I not attractive? How did you find the one man in the world who would prefer doing just about anything other than making love to you?   The truth is, your husband isn’t as unusual as you think. In fact, after almost three decades of working as a couples therapist and learning what really goes on behind closed doors, I’m convinced that low sexual desire in men is America’s best-kept secret.

Here’s something you need to know: Your husband’s indifference to sex probably has nothing to do with how attractive you are or how much he loves you. He may have a personal issue, such as depression or stress, that’s sapping his sexual desire. Or the culprit could be a physical problem — such as illness, obesity, or trouble maintaining an erection (just to name a few). Finally, many men lose interest in sex for the same reason many women do: unresolved feelings of anger, resentment, and hurt that make the idea of making love not very appealing.   If you suspect that biology or personal issues may play a part in your husband’s lack of interest in sex, he should start with a visit to a doctor or a therapist. But even if he refuses to get help, there’s a lot you can do to change the “I’m hot, he’s not” dynamic in your relationship.   There are no one-size-fits-all universal methods for boosting sexual desire. So don’t get too bogged down trying to figure out the perfect place to start. Just start somewhere.

Sex Starter: Focus on the exceptions

I always ask couples, “What’s different about the times the two of you are getting along better? What are each of you doing differently?” People are typically stymied. They simply haven’t been paying much attention to problem-free times — or if they notice good times, they assume the good times are flukes. But good times don’t just happen. When things are going better, it’s because at least one partner is doing something differently.

Continue reading…

December 20, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why We Kiss: The Science of Sex

By: Brie Cadman     DivineCaroline.com

Pecking, smooching, Frenching, and playing tonsil-hockey—there are as many names for kissing as there are ways to do it. Whether we use it as an informal greeting or an intensely romantic gesture, kissing is one of those ingrained human behaviors that seems to defy explanation. Its many purposes—a blow and peck for good luck on dice, lips to ground after a rocky boat ride, kisses in the air to an acquaintance, and the long slow smooches of Hollywood—have different meanings yet are similar in nature. So why is it that we love to pucker up?

A Kiss Isn’t Just a Kiss
Philematologists, the scientists who study kissing, aren’t exactly sure why humans started locking lips in the first place. The most likely theory is that it stems from primate mothers passing along chewed food to their toothless babies. The lip-to-lip contact may have been passed on through evolution, not only as a necessary means of survival, but also as a general way to promote social bonding and as an expression of love.

But something’s obviously happened to kissing since the time of the chewed-food pass. Now, it’s believed that kissing helps transfer critical information, rather than just meat bits. The kissing we associate with romantic courtship may help us to choose a good mate, send chemical signals, and foster long-term relationships. All of this is important in evolution’s ultimate goal—successful procreation. 

Kissing allows us to get close enough to a mate to assess essential characteristics about them, none of which we’re consciously processing. Part of this information exchange is most likely facilitated by pheromones, chemical signals that are passed between animals to help send messages. We know that animals use pheromones to alert their peers of things like mating, food sources, and danger, and researchers hypothesize that pheromones can play a role in human behavior as well. Although the vomeronasal organs, which are responsible for pheromone detection and brain function in animals, are thought to be vestigial and inactive in humans, research indicates we do communicate with chemicals.    Continue reading…

December 20, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ron Muech – Hyper Realist Sculptor

There is a point, when sculpturing, at witch taking great care of details leads to creating hyper realistic artwork that cannot be set apart from the real world objects it is supposed to represent. Ron Muech sculptures are just that, extraordinary realistic work that seems real even after looking at it for the tenth time. 

Ron Mueck was born on 1958 is an Australian hyper realist sculptor working in Great Britain. Mueck’s early career was as a model maker and puppeteer for children’s television and films, notably the film Labyrinth for which he also contributed the voice of Ludo.   Mueck moved on to establish his own company in London, making photo-realistic props and animatronics for the advertising industry.   Although highly detailed, these props were usually designed to be photographed from one specific angle hiding the mess of construction seen from the other side. Mueck increasingly wanted to produce realistic sculptures which looked perfect from all angles.

In 1996 Mueck transitioned to fine art, collaborating with his mother-in-law, Paula Rego, to produce small figures as part of a tableau she was showing at the Hayward Gallery. Rego introduced him to Charles Saatchi who was immediately impressed and started to collect and commission work.   This led to the piece which made Mueck’s name, Dead Dad, being included in the Sensation show at the Royal Academy the following year. Dead Dad is a rather haunting silicone and mixed media sculpture of the corpse of Mueck’s father reduced to about two thirds of its natural scale. It is the only work of Mueck’s that uses his own hair for the finished product.   Mueck’s sculptures faithfully reproduce the minute detail of the human body, but play with scale to produce disconcertingly jarring visual images. His five metre high sculpture Boy 1999 was a feature in the Millennium Dome and later exhibited in the Venice Biennale.   In 2002 his sculpture Pregnant Woman was purchased by the National Gallery of Australia for $800,000.

***************Continue viewing all the pictures…

December 20, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tongue Tattoos

via fillinn.com

The needles move extremely fast, breaking the skin and leaving the pigments of ink.  As tongue tattoos become more and more popular, more and more designs are implemented. In most cases, those who already have them, chose to have their tongue tattooed a certain color. As far as the procedure goes, it’s very similar to getting a tattoo on any other part of your body. The tongue, just like the skin, will swallow the pigments once the surface has been punctured by the needle. There are also designs that can be tattooed farther back on the tongue, near the middle of it.

Stars are popular with the lower area of the tongue, near the tip. Although many aren’t familiar with tongue tattoos yet, they are just now starting to take shape. Whether it be purple, orange, black, or blue, the tongue can be tattooed a variety of different colors. A tattoo on the tongue is often described as a tickling sensation or the feeling of numbness in your mouth.  A tongue tattoo is a bit on the creative side – something that you just don’t see in public everyday. When the tattoo artist does the tattoo, he will normally use a tool to hold the tongue out. The designs that are poplar with tongue tattoos include stars, tribal work, and other shapes and designs that cover a region of the tongue. A tattoo involved needles puncturing the skin, depositing ink into the epidermis. Once the tongue is out, the artist will begin work.

If a tongue tattoo sounds interesting to you, the first thing to do is find a tattoo artist in your area who is experienced with doing them. Unlike tattoos on the skin, the tongue is a giant muscle. Tattoos are a hot commodity these days, becoming more and more popular than they have ever been in the past. Although tattoos are very popular, the new trend that is rapidly taking effect in the world of tattoos is known as tongue tattoos. Once the pigments of ink are absorbed by the tongue, the color will remain there forever.  If you’ve ever had a tongue piercing, you’ll know what it looks like. Those who have had tongue tattoos in the past say that they aren’t very painful. The process normally does take very long, as long you hold still and don’t move around. There are hundreds and thousands of different designs and styles of tattoos to choose from, giving you the chance to express yourself. There are tattoos that cover the entire tongue, or just a single area.   They resemble other designs and styles, although they cover the muscle known as the tongue. Not a lot of tattoo artists are familiar with tongue tattoos, as they are just now beginning to surface.

December 20, 2009 Posted by | News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“School Girls”: New Dress Trend in London Clubbing

via fillinn.com

The main idea of the club is to dress up in your old school uniform – or, if that was as hideous as mine was or no longer fits, an approximation to the stereotypical school uniform. Most people came in white shirts, stripy ties, and black or grey skirts or trousers – some of the more inventive had unearthed little caps, straw boaters, blazers, cricket jumpers, mortarboards (they came as teachers) and scouts’ uniforms, and a few enterprising boys came in drag. The more unusual you look the more attention you get, so dress up or down depending on whether you want to get chatted up all night or just spend a fun evening dancing with friends.

The DJ started off on eighties classics – Wake Me Up Before You Go-go and Take on Me were played one after the other, followed swiftly by assorted Madonna hits, Come on Eileen and other staples of eighties compilation tapes. A birthday gave the excuse to launch into Celebrate, which kicked off a series of seventies songs. Even if you weren’t around when they first came out (or hadn’t yet graduated onto pop music) it would be unusual not to know most of the songs – they’re the sort of cheesy anthems familiar from pubs, school/university discos, and hired DJs.

Any criticisms? Unless you buy tickets over the web in advance, you usually have to queue for at least an hour and a half before getting in – the night I went it was snowing. The club is also packed (and it always fills up to its maximum capacity), making it quite difficult to move without bumping into someone else. The venue isn’t brilliantly maintained, and is a bit grubby – mostly this adds to the ramshackle ’school disco’ charm, but it was quite annoying that there wasn’t any loo paper in the girls’ loos, even at the beginning of the evening.

It’s almost impossible to avoid pulling at schooldisco – almost everyone is young,reasonably good-looking and amazingly flirtatious. The school uniform thing probably helps as well, not least because it dissolves inhibitions – when you already look absurdly like an extra from Grange Hill or a Soho sex show, there seems very little point in preserving your dignity. That said, it’s also great for a night out with friends – the eighties and seventies hits make everyone feel warm and nostalgic (unless they’re incredibly cool and contemptuous towards anything that could be considered cheesy).

  

 ******View all the school girl pictures…..

December 20, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, Dating/Sex, Dining/Living | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Eve – The World’s Tallest Model

via odditycentral.com and ninemsn.com

At 2 meters and 5 centimeters (6 feet 7 inches), Eve may be an incredibly tall, but she’s also incredibly hot. Yup, I do have a thing for “taller than thou” babes.

Eve, a successful American model and the tallest model in the world will grace the cover of Zoo Weekly, an Australian men’s magazine, with her extraordinary physique. This the first time a woman of her size appears on the front of such a publication and to better show off her tallness, she posed beside a 1.62 meters-tall Australian model.

Zoo Weekly editor Paul Merrill said they had her bikini custom made, but it was worth it. Bro, I totally agree, great job! Oh, and who said good things come in small packages was so wrong!

December 20, 2009 Posted by | Celebs, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Golden Guardian Angels over Munich

Photos by REUTERS via EastDay

If you want to make sure you’re watched over by heavenly angels, I suggest you go straight to the Holy Cross Church, in Munich.

German artist Ottmar Hoerl set up a divine exhibition inside the Holy Cross church, by attaching 300 golden angels on a scaffolding. Entitled “Guardian Angels over Munich“, Hoerl’s artwork allows people to actually experience what it’s like to have not one, but hundreds of angels watching over you. Not a bad idea…          View all the pictures…

December 20, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What Ever Happened to the Sexual Fantasy?

by Paul Tinelli  Details.com

This fall, around the time Google made global news by announcing it would snap up YouTube for $1.65 billion, you could have made a persuasive case that not all the action on the Internet was in new media. Two geeks were rich beyond their wildest dreams, but a handful of Web surfers couldn’t care less: They were too busy clicking on PornTube, a website devoted to a decidedly old-school pastime.   Over the past three months, PornTube has enjoyed a 1,200 percent increase in reach, according to the Web ratings firm Alexa. It doesn’t take a Ph.D. from Stanford to guess what goes on there. But what makes PornTube different is the exhaustive sexual variety it allows you to whack off to. Just like that vast swamp one slogs through on YouTube, PornTube has everything from slickly produced Busty Nurses and Asian Liaisons to amateur Bikini Bangers. It offers 28 Hentai titles, 13 “face fuck” choices, and nine streaming-video payment options. You can burn your own DVDs and, of course, download podcasts.

And that’s just one site. Let’s not kid ourselves. We applaud the likes of Flickr, Digg, and HopStop, but the Net is basically one big porn wasteland. And the Web is just one part of the adult industry’s vast, roiling cauldron of kink; these days, there’s a virtual universe of erotica to pleasure yourself with. Designer boutiques featuring the latest hypoallergenic love dolls and penis sleeves are popping up in New York’s SoHo; Jenna Jameson’s retail company now sells Jenna’s Vibrating UR3 Vagina and Ass ($181.79; batteries not included); the sex shop Babeland dispenses a numerological substance called Stroke 29, which “takes on the heat and glide of aroused human tissue around the 29th stroke.” Even your local CVS can be counted on for a full buffet of mint-flavored Astroglide and new-and-improved self-heating K-Y. For a young man with an ache in his loins and a handful of lube, this profusion of options might feel like a season pass to a sexual amusement park. But the actual effect is quite the opposite.

The sad truth is—whether you’re straight, gay, or bi—modern life has taken the fun out of masturbating. In the golden age of the Internet, the universal sport of choking the chicken is about as hot as a testicular exam.   Richard Feinberg, a consumer psychologist who directs Purdue University’s Center for Customer-Driven Quality, blames quantity. “There is a consumer phenomenon called information overload. When there are too many choices, sometimes consumers make the wrong decision, or don’t make any choice at all,” he says. “It’s like an electrical outlet—plug in too many appliances and it will overload the circuit.”   And if there’s a product category that offers consumers too many choices, it’s porn. “Now that you have so much pornography,” says Joseph Slade, author of Pornography and Sexual Representation and a telecommunications professor at Ohio University, “people are overwhelmed by it.”

Continue reading…

December 20, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment