The Neanderthal Post

Survival of the Blog

Going Through Tough Times? Maybe You Should Hire A Higher Power

By Karen Salmansohn

After my sexual assault a few years ago, I found myself thinking a lot about God. In the process, I’ve come to realize I’m more spiritual than I am religious.

What do I mean by this? As far as praying to God goes, I prefer looking inside for inner guidance—tapping into my own abundantly powerful inner resources—where some might say God does indeed reside.

Which reminds me of one of my favorite cartoons. Two sock puppets are talking to each other. One sock puppet says to the other, “Sometimes I wonder if there is a hand.”

I believe you are your own inner hand. The godly power resides within each of us to create the life we desire, no matter the challenges. I also believe it doesn’t matter where your godly guidance comes from, whether it’s deep inside you or from high above. What does matter is that you take the time to seek it during times of trouble.

Studies show that people who are actively involved in religion report greater levels of happiness than those who are not religious.

In one study*, 101 undergraduate students between ages 18 and 49 were given surveys. Those scoring high in religious beliefs—attended church regularly, had a strong religious faith, and prayed often—were the ones who scored the highest in happiness.

Personally, I think there are several reasons why the religious students scored higher on the happiness meter, and not all the reasons necessarily have to do with religion. Religious people are simply following the major core practices of happy people. For example, the guaranteed social support that can be found in a church, synagogue or mosque is beneficial and helpful if you’re struggling through a trauma or crisis.

Religion also can provide a sense of meaning and purpose. According to psychiatrist Ed Diener, having a belief in something bigger than yourself—a sense of order amid all the chaos—is a vital ingredient to happiness.

You can find this meaning in religious prayer or a spiritual belief system. Or you can develop a personal life philosophy that inspires you to seek lessons and growth. The important thing is to take the time to seek out this meaning and purpose during challenging times.   Continue reading…

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Health/Sports, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where all the good guys are

By John DeVore, The Frisky

(The Frisky) — Women always seem to ask me where all the good men are, as if these near-mythical dudes are hiding behind bushes, chained up in some vampire’s basement, or are just rare and elusive, like the snow leopard.

Normally, I have to resist responding, “Maybe the good guys are just avoiding you.”

But the answer to this frequent, lovelorn lament is simple: The good men are right under your nose.

And that’s the damn truth. That’s right, ladies. The good men you pine for are right there, all up in your grill, listening to your bellyaching, patiently enduring your inability to manage your own flamboyant, capricious romantic expectations and dreary reality.

These good guys are co-workers, classmates, and, most importantly, friends. You officially have my permission as a relationship expert with a Ph.D. in Broken Hearts from the University of Feelings, Emoburg campus, to fall in love with your male friends.

I blame your gender, after all, for inventing what The Frisky site refers to as “The Friend Zone.” It’s not a “zone.” One loses weight in a “zone,” or tells time there. Or learns a dark lesson about human nature during a twist ending.

No. “The Friend Zone” is actually a gulag. The Bermuda Triangle. A cruel little exile. Right now, there is a man in your life who feels you in his teeth, but who walks around with an “F” for “Friend” seared onto his forehead by a glowing-red iron you keep perpetually cooking in the furnace of your heart. You cannot think of him “that way.”

At what point did he go from potential dating material to platonic bestie? Possibly the moment he started remembering your favorite alcoholic drink, instant messaging you about “Mad Men,” and listening to you drone on about your thighs, again. Because love is intently listening to someone repeat themselves.

The Frisky: How to ex-orcise him from your life

This dude adores you and you are denying yourself potential joy because of some imaginary rule. The heart is a frontier full of peril and plunder, and you should not be afraid to explore what lies beyond hastily built fences.

The Frisky: How to know when you’ve found The One

I’m not saying men and women can’t be friends. We totally can. I won’t confirm the famous lesson from “When Harry Met Sally,” which remains smug Baby Boomer treacle.

I don’t want to sleep with all my female friends. I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think that’s gender-specific. Just human curiosity.

So do it! Hook up with your dude friend. Life is too short to be afraid of ruining a friendship, especially if there’s a chance you could be more to one another, like epically cosmic lovers worthy of your own constellation in the night sky.

Friendships are as fluid as romances; they can end as suddenly as they can begin. In many ways, they’re overrated. You know what’s not overrated? Love. It’s awesome.

The Frisky: 10 reasons to consider going on a blind date

We’re talking about the meaning of life here. And it’s to find someone whom you can grow old, fat, and ugly with. Our romantic rituals revolve around complete strangers negotiating for sex, then attempting to become friends. It’s as if our society demands there’s a dating you and a real you, and a relationship happens when two people agree to abandon the mutual lie. Cut to the chase. Friends already know how to play, laugh, and forgive each other.

The Frisky: My BFF is in a controlling relationship

Two of my longest relationships were with women whom I had been friends with. I loved them both, initially from afar. In both instances, we stepped off a cliff together without looking like the Fool in most tarot card decks. We took a risk, molted out of our friendship, and transformed into something else. And there was that moment of recognition, where we both said “screw it,” took a risk, and realized that you can’t win big if you don’t gamble big. And a shot at conjugal and emotional bliss is quite a prize.

The Frisky: Should your boyfriend be your best friend

The first time, we were in the middle of a “Friends” marathon, and we took a break so she could shower. She came back with wet hair, and I had never seen her without make-up and when she plopped onto the couch, I kissed her. We both freaked out:

She stormed into the kitchen; I paced in a circle. Then we decided to make out some more. It helped. The second was a friend who proved to me she was no princess at a party by shot-gunning a can of beer. I immediately told her that I was falling for her, and she told me to wear a helmet. She kissed me, our quiet garden of a friendship suddenly a wildfire.

I wouldn’t say I’m friends with these women; we broke up for the reasons people break up — changing priorities, the mean little pianos life drops on your head. Maybe we would have drifted apart regardless. We’re not friends now, but I don’t regret giving it a shot. Kisses are the only things you can steal and never have to give back. And at least I’ll have those until the day I croak.

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Indie Directors Give Movies Away Free Online

By Monisha Rajesh    Time.com

When Finnish filmmaker Timo Vuorensola came up with the idea for his movie Star Wreck, a parody of Star Trek, he knew that looking for conventional distribution would be futile. An amateur, science-fiction comedy with a miniscule budget — and in Finnish, to boot — would hardly be attractive to mainstream studios. So Vuorensola took matters into his own hands: he used a Finnish social networking site to build up an online fan base who contributed to the storyline, made props and even offered their acting skills. In return for the help, Vuorensola released Star Wreck in 2005 online for free. Seven hundred thousand copies were downloaded in the first week alone; to date, the total has now reached 9 million.

“Releasing it for free is just good marketing,” he says. “Whether it’s through piracy or distribution your film is out there on the Internet, so we decided to harness this.” And he has managed to make quite a bit of money out of it. Online sales of merchandise — including T-shirts and collector’s editions of the DVD — have generated $430,000 on a film that only cost $21,500 to make, Vuorensola says. He and his team have also now secured a proper distribution deal with Revolver Entertainment in the U.S. and Britain. (See the best movies of 2009.)

In the age of YouTube and viral marketing campaigns, it was only a matter of time before independent filmmakers came to realize that cutting the middleman out of the process is sometimes the best way to guarantee large audiences see their works. This is especially true at a time when funding from studios has been seriously hit by the recession — just as it was on the way up. “The last 10 years has been a renaissance period for independent filmmaking and there has been more money coming into production for films than in any other decade in the history of film,” says Jonathan Wolf, managing director of the American Film Market, an annual event where filmmakers and studio executives converge to sign production and distribution deals. But since the economic downturn, many indie movie distributors, including New Line Cinema, Miramax, the Weinstein Company and Paramount Vantage, have either left the market or slashed their funding.

Like Vuorensola, American animator Nina Paley ignored traditional distribution methods and released her film, Sita Sings the Blues, a comic adaptation of the Hindu epic, The Ramayana, directly online earlier this year. She first created a blog, www.ninapaley.com, to develop a community of supporters, and then posted the film on another site, www.sitasingstheblues.com, for free. It was an instant success. “I have my blog, but I essentially gave the film to the audience and they ran with it,” Paley says. “It wasn’t self-distribution, it was audience distribution.” (See the best blogs of the year.)

Paley also sells merchandise on her site, including 35mm prints of the film stamped with a Creative Commons License, so the buyers know the money is going directly to the filmmaker. And she has a donation link through which she has received gifts ranging from $2 to $2,000. To date, Paley has made net profits of $55,000 — and she’s secured theatrical distribution in France and the U.S. “What I have learned is that the more freely you show the film, the more audiences will buy the DVD and surrounding merchandise,” she says. “With a normal theatrical release you have to spend so much money on advertising and promotion that most independent films lose money.”

Even some mainstream filmmakers are starting to use online distribution to build buzz about their projects or simply to get their films to as many people as possible. Last year, Michael Moore released Slacker Uprising — a documentary about his attempts to have President George W. Bush removed from office in the run-up to the 2004 election — online for free in the U.S and Canada to encourage young people to vote. And in May, documentary filmmaker Franny Armstrong launched a website called www.indiescreenings.net, where people can buy a license and then screen her climate-change documentary, The Age of Stupid. Armstrong incentivizes buyers by allowing them to keep any profits from ticket sales. She can’t guarantee that her film won’t be copied and shared after someone purchases a license to screen it, but she says she had to put her trust in people to spread the word about climate change. (See TIME’s coverage of the Copenhagen climate-change conference.)

Liz Rosenthal, founder of Power to the Pixel, an organization that devises new models of film distribution, says the reason many indie directors are turning to the web is that it allows them to better engage with their audiences. “The whole film business has no connection with their audience,” she says. “And with any business you have to know your consumer. The Internet has become a free distribution machine, so what can you sell that makes money? Things you can’t copy. They need to be things that are based around your audience. Directors cuts, merchandise, 35mm prints of your film.” (Read: “Why Netflix Stinks: A Critic’s Complaint.”)

Soon, the middleman could be a thing of the past. And it may only be a matter of time before movie theatres — popcorn and all — are on the way out, too.

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, Movies, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Don’t Panic

via dailynugget.com

This guy in Uruguay named Fede Alvarez posted this 4 minute and 48 second video on YouTube called Ataque de Panico (Panic Attack). He claims that he made this short film with only $300. Within three days of posting it onto YouTube he was getting calls from Hollywood studios and eventually signed a $30 million film deal sponsored by Sam Raimi, the director of Spiderman. The moral of the story: Don’t panic. If you are good enough at what you do, success will find you.

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, Movies | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How Much Do Her Friends Know About Your Sex Life?

By Stacey Grenrock Woods  Esquire.com

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

4 Things to Never Joke About With Your Man

By Chris Connolly    Cosmopolitan.com

For most guys, a kick-ass sense of humor in a woman ranks right up there with a nice rack. And though we pride ourselves on being able to take ribbing as well as we dish it out, some material is just no laughing matter to us. Consider the following subjects unsuitable comic fodder.

His Future Hair Loss

With the exception of Hollywood types like Vin Diesel, most guys with shiny chrome domes are not deemed the sexiest man alive. That’s why many guys stress about potential future loss. And if there’s even a hint of thinning, it’s certain to be a really sore subject. “I once had a date joke that I better grab a hat because it was chilly outside and she didn’t want my scalp to catch a cold,” says Rich*, 30. “Look I know my lid is starting to look a little lean, but I don’t need a woman reminding me…even if it’s in jest.”

His Paltry Payback

Yes, it’s a little Stone Age, but we men consider it our manly obligation to bring home the bacon. When our salary doesn’t stack up, we feel totally emasculated. It’s like we measure our worth in a relationship to our wallet (or at least we think you do). So you can see why kidding around about your sugar-mama status isn’t exactly our idea of stand-up. “I know it’s wrong, but I’m embarrassed that my girlfriend outearns me,” admits Andrew, 28. “She once made a quip about letting me stay home Mr.Mom -style while she supported us, and I lost it. We’ve since come to an understanding that until I hit the lottery or open my own restaurant, money is something that can’t be taken lightly.” Bottom line: It’s not that we don’t appreciate your alpha-female status. We just don’t want to be your beta boy toy.

His Mom

It’s a rule that dates back to the playgroud: Once you start dissing a boy’s mother, things are going to get ugly. Sure, he’s allowed to goof on her Hawaiian muumuus, burned Bundt cake, and obsession with Richard Simmons, but when you chime in, it’s a different story. “I love my mom to death. She’s a total character,” says Josh, 30. “I bust on her nonstop, and she gives it right back to me. But if my girlfriend added her two cents, I’d find it totally disrespectful.” Bonus tip: Sisters are untouchable too.

His Member

In a nutshell, keep Johnson jokes to yourself—especially if you ever want his penis to come out to play again. Our “boys” are serious business. There’s nothing comedic about commentary on any of the following: size (or more accurately, lack thereof), shape, and color. Just ask Bill, 26: “I’m sensitive about the fact that my package is a shade darker than the rest of my flesh. I was once with a girl who took one look, giggled, and named him the Dark Horse. It made me so self-conscious that I couldn’t perform.” Your best bet? Stay mute about his member…unless you feel compelled to characterize it as monstrous.

*Names have been changed.

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Maybe One Day We Can Not Be Friends

By: Kathryn Williams  

There is a debate raging across America’s heartland. It’s being discussed in our homes, our schools, our offices, the halls of Congress … okay, maybe not the halls of Congress. I’m not talking about the presidential election or health care reform or even American Idol. I’m talking about the perennial and heated question of whether or not one can or should be friends with her ex.

The funny thing is I always thought I fell squarely on one side of the debate. I always thought I was the girl who stayed buddy-buddy with her exes. I was all (cocky voice), “Yeah, I’m friends with like, all my old boyfriends.” How kind of me, huh? Especially as I’m always the dumpee rather than the dumper.

Liar. I was lying to myself and to the people I said it to. Only recently have I adjusted my thinking and accepted that, in most cases, I’m actually not friends with my exes—maybe friendly with them, but not friends—and that’s okay. This has kind of rocked my world.

Truthfully, there are only two guys I’ve dated who I am sincerely good friends with now, and that’s only after time and distance. We are past the weirdness, but only because we both realized early on that we were not meant to be together. These were not my life’s great loves or drawn-out affairs. This was a matter of dipping our toes in the water, feeling it was kind of chilly, and deciding to float on the raft and sun ourselves rather than take a swim. Catch my drift?

My ex/friends were exes in the denotation of the word but not the connotation. There was not excessive hand-wringing and sobbing uncontrollably on the bathroom floor when these courtships ended. There were a few tears because I am an overly emotional person, but there was no separation anxiety, no rehashing of past wrongs, no coming back together only to be painfully torn apart again. I do love these ex/friends, and I do not use that word lightly, but I love them in a platonic way that does not involve me wanting to take off my clothes.     Continue reading…

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Big Pussy

A neurotic nice-guy struggles to find the confidence to tell the girl he loves that her vagina smells

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Humor, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

16 Girls + 1 Bicycle = Awesome

16 Girls + 1 Bicycle = Awesome In case you missed it…

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, Health/Sports | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Is Your Sperm Too Old?

By Kevin Conley   Details.com
While you’ve never been against the idea of a serious relationship, you are in no particular rush to become a schlub. The attendant trappings of new fatherhood—the preschool viewings, the sleepless nights, the humiliation of carrying a diaper bag—aren’t exactly calling out to you the way, say, another night slinging Pisco sours would. The ever-intensifying din of the proverbial biological clock? That’s for the opposite sex to worry about—you know, like periods, frizz, and whether Mr. Big will dump Carrie in the Sex and the City sequel. As far as you know, your little swim team of DNA carriers will be competing at Olympic level into Letterman age. So what’s the rush?

“I always thought my biological clock was the 36 hours I had left after I took my Cialis pill,” says Zack, a 30-year-old producer in Los Angeles. “That’s the only clock I’ve ever felt ticking.” Turns out, Zack might want to consider the unsung glories of fatherhood.

According to a study released last March in the Public Library of Science Medicine, children born to fathers who were 20 scored an average of 2 points higher on an IQ test than children born to 50-year-old fathers. And that’s not all. Recent studies from Israel, California, and Sweden have connected “late paternal age” with any number of serious medical conditions: The longer you wait, the more likely it is that your kid will be affected by schizophrenia, dwarfism, bipolar disorder, autism, Marfan syndrome, certain childhood cancers, or even, later in life, Alzheimer’s. In some cases, the risk factors skyrocket. A 2005 study conducted by the University of California, Los Angeles, found a fourfold rise in Down syndrome among babies born to men 50 and older. Worse still, those risk factors aren’t limited to your tweed-sporting years: Statistically, “late paternal age” starts at 30, as in Zack’s age. A 2006 study conducted by Mount Sinai School of Medicine found that fathers in their thirties have children with about 1.5 times the risk of developing autism compared with fathers in their teens and twenties. That factor jumps to five times for dads in their forties. The cherry on the cake? The American Society for Reproductive Medicine recommends that sperm banks do not accept specimens from men over 40.

“The biological clock for men and women is really the same,” says Dr. Dolores Malaspina of Bellevue Hospital Center in New York City and New York University, who conducted one of the first studies. “It’s just that men can keep having babies.”

The biology behind this isn’t hard to grasp: Starting in puberty, spermatogonia, the master copies for sperm production, replicate themselves every couple of weeks. After 300 to 500 copies—somewhere in your thirties—a meaningful number of small copy errors, or point mutations, start to emerge, which accumulate over time.

Yet, despite the alarming new science, most men greet parenthood with a sense of urgency that’s more in line with Zack’s than Angelina Jolie’s. The reason is simple: While women are inculcated with the risks of late-age motherhood in sixth-grade sex ed, men remain blissfully ignorant. Since the recent studies have been published, the bad news still doesn’t seem to be making it to the doctor’s office. Scott, a 32-year-old schoolteacher from Babylon, New York, decided to start a family when he was Zack’s age, strictly because he wanted to raise his child while he was young. “For me the doctors were like, ‘Hey, this is going to be good. You’re still active,'” Scott says. “Nobody ever told me about the medical risks of being an older dad.”

That’s because men don’t usually get this news flash until they’re looking through a microscope at a batch of fugly sperm with no sense of direction. Swain, a 37-year-old IT professional in Dallas, wishes he had heard sooner. “Who cares if the baby is born with six fingerswe can’t get that far,” he says. “I’d be thrilled to have that problem.” His wife is four years younger than he is, and they decided to wait. “What I did was let her clock be the one in control,” Swain says. “I would have been happy having kids five, six years ago, but she just wasn’t ready. The female clock seems to dominate the conversation.”

But don’t expect sweeping social change anytime soon. “Tell a man he’s got a chance of having kids with genetic abnormalities, and it’s like he’s going through the stages of the acceptance of death,” says Dr. Harry Fisch, a professor of urology and the author of The Male Biological Clock. “They’ll say, ‘I’m losing my manliness, my sexual ability.’ To them it all comes under the same umbrella.”

The good news is that no one, not even Malaspina, is suggesting that older men eschew the joys of fatherhood. But if you’re a younger guy who hasn’t thought twice about postponing it, be forewarned: The female of the species is about to get her just rewards. That bell tolling? It’s for you.

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Dining/Living, Love, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Art Of Graffiti

via buzzinn.net

Graffiti is the name for images or lettering scratched, scrawled, painted or marked in any manner on property. Graffiti is any type of public markings that may appear in the forms of simple written words to elaborate wall paintings. Graffiti has existed since ancient times, with examples dating back to Ancient Greece and the Roman Empire.

In modern times, spray paint, normal paint and markers have become the most commonly used materials. In most countries, defacing property with graffiti without the property owner’s consent is considered vandalism, which is punishable by law. Sometimes graffiti is employed to communicate social and political messages. To some, it is an art form worthy of display in galleries and exhibitions; to others it is merely vandalism.

Graffiti has since evolved into a pop culture existence often related to underground hip hop music and b-boying creating a lifestyle that remains hidden from the general public. Graffiti is used as a gang signal to mark territory or to serve as an indicator or “tag” for gang-related activity. The controversies that surround graffiti continue to create disagreement amongst city officials/ law enforcement and graffitists looking to display their work in public locations.

There are many different types and styles of graffiti and it is a rapidly developing artform whose value is highly contested, being reviled by many authorities while also subject to protection, sometimes within the same jurisdiction.

Check out more of his art at http://mac-arte.blogspot.com/

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Beauty Of Sunset

via buzzinn.net

Collection of great relaxing landscapes in combination with people and animals. These are some beautiful sunset pictures that should remind you of nature and it’s unbelievable beauty…

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment