The Neanderthal Post

Survival of the Blog

Set The Scene For Unforgettable Sex

via AskMen.com

In a relationship, it’s sometimes easy to put sex in the proverbial backseat of your life; especially when work, bills, eating, sleeping, and all that other unsexy stuff comes into play.

So, today’s tip is for those guys who want to reignite the passion — or for the guys who simply want that look of amazement from their women after a night of bang-on sex.

Here’s how you can set the scene for unforgettable sex.

Rent a room
The great thing about renting a hotel room is that you don’t have to worry about destroying the sheets with chocolate syrup, nor will you care if you yell and scream, because you’ll likely never see your “neighbors” again.

Of course, you don’t have to rent a room if you think it’s too expensive. You can always pimp your own room instead.

Either way, you have to set the room up for sex. Get the proper lighting (candles or red lights), proper music (something ambient), sexual props (blindfolds, tethers, etc.), and other add-ons.

Send her an invite & an outfit
Send her a written invitation, along with a box that contains one hell of an outfit for her to wear (think of your most favorite fantasy vixen and go with that). Something short and black usually works well if characters aren’t your thing. Lace and satin look great on any skin tone and will make her feel super sexy.

Get the right food
To enhance the mood, make sure the room is stocked with the necessities. Buy chilled champagne (or other liquor) and strawberries (or other fruit — already sliced), chocolate, water, and so on, so that you’re both comfortable.

Don’t head straight to the main event when you set the scene for unforgettable sex.

Take her out first
Don’t head straight to the room when you meet up. You need a buildup, something that’ll make her want to take you somewhere private. If she’s adventurous and open-minded, take her to a strip club and get her a lap dance.

If that’s not her thing, then opt to take her dancing. If you hate dancing, then encourage her to dance for you while you stand at the bar and watch. Don’t get hammered and don’t get her hammered, otherwise the evening will be a total waste and, instead of sex, it’ll involve a toilet bowl and a very foul stench.

The idea is to get yourselves revved up for what’s in store once you’re alone and naked.

Pack her overnight bag
This applies only if you’ve opted to rent a room or don’t live together. Head to the pharmacy and invest in some toothpaste, toothbrushes, hair products, and anything else you think she’ll need for the morning after.

Break the sexual monotony
If your girl is used to having sex in a certain fashion, shake things up a bit by doing things differently tonight. If you usually take on a missionary stance, then try doggy style. If foreplay usually involves nothing more than kissing, this time bring your penis up to her mouth and let her kiss it instead.

Go down on her and while you’re licking her clitoris, put your fingers inside her and search for that G-spot. And dude, take your time: you’ve got all night.

Kiss her, touch her in places she’s not used to being touched, and let her appreciate your body as well. Play games, move to other parts of the room (or house) and introduce a whole new you to your girl.

keep it interesting

You don’t really have to spend money to ensure great sex, but every once in a while, if you make her feel like gold, she’ll want to show you how much she wants you — in a physical way. And nothing makes a woman hornier than knowing you think she’s incredibly sexy. 

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I Want To Be An Avatar

The movie Avatar is a pretty bad ass movie. But as always with semi science-fiction movies there´re people who take it a little bit to seriously. Take this girl, she wants to pay her respect to the people of Pandora, so she paints herself blue. But then again who am I to judge? See for yourself. 

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Humor | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Hypnotist vs Police Officer

This guy is trying to get a cop chasing him by burning headlights and doubling the speed limit. When the cop pulls him over, he uses several techniques that hypnotists have been using for decades. He’s able to bring so much confusion to the cop so that he can actually turn the tables, ask the cop for some directions and drive away.

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Humor, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Man vs Woman: Anal Sex

via Muffslap.com

Thoughts on Anal Sex

She Said:

Proceed with caution and be sure permission to come aboard was granted. If I were to add up the number of my friends who won’t consider anal sex an option to the number who enjoy it, I’d have a 70/30 ratio. Most women just aren’t comfortable with it. They think there is a perfectly fine hole next door, why would he need to use that one? What many women don’t understand is that anal sex offers a whole different sensation to a man. For men it is a feeling of conquest, which is a huge turn on. For the woman who isn’t one hundred percent into it, she could be feeling overwhelmed emotionally by the domination of the act. More than just the conquest and domination aspect of it, it offers a totally different sexual sensation. It is generally a tighter and drier feeling for the man and many women swear that it creates far more intense orgasms. Essentially, it depends on the comfort level of both parties with the act. Don’t go poking around without talking about it first.

He Said:

Variety is the spice of life. Anal sex is certainly a great addition to any bedroom relationship. Let’s face it, if you are having sex in the same positions over and over, even sex can become boring. Anal sex is certainly a conquest to a guy if he can successfully convince his partner to engage in backdoor activities. Anal Sex is a little bit more risky and can usually lead to a guy feeling his partner is more adventurous in the bed room; possibly even opening the door to other requests. The true great challenge for a man is how to bring up this topic. There is always the casual conversation with your partner to try to find out what she is willing to do. Most women appreciate the conversation and are more likely to try it if you speak about it first and also get some lubrication to help in the conquest. There are even lubrications that will actually numb the back door if your partner is scared of the pain. The back door is something most guys want to do, but are usually scared to bring up. So guys, if you want to engage in these activities, have a conversation with your partner rather than sticking a finger in her backdoor and waiting for a reaction. This will ensure that you don’t shock her with your sneak attack and that you will be better prepared with the proper lubrications if you two decide to take the plunge.

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Last Resort Booty Calls

via muffslap.com

Every NFL quarterback has a progression of check down options when his primary receiver isn’t available. He looks for his first option, second, and so on. Just like a quarterback, guys have a progression list for their late night booty call. When a guy strikes out at the bar, and doesn’t want to wake up alone, he turns to his options. The average guy has about 10, but if you’re Christian Troy from Niptuck, your options can be upward of 20. Text with caution.

Option 1. The Current Booty Call

This woman is always your first option and knows the routine. Hopefully she’s awake, available, and in the mood.

Option 2. The New Girl

Send a quick text to see if she’s still awake and possibly drunk enough to make a bad decision. If you really like this girl, and want the relationship to be more than a booty call, don’t text her when you’re hammered.

Option 3. The Old Booty Call

She hasn’t been around much, but there’s be no harm in sending a text and seeing if she would still be game.

Option 4. The Ex

Always a dangerous but quick “what are you up to” text. You’ll end up at her house with a nice wrestle session under the sheets. Unfortunately, you’ll have to pay for in the morning with pointless relationship talk.

Option 5. The Attractive Neighbor

This girls in in walking distance, but you haven’t hooked up with her, yet. If you think she’s around, send a flirty text asking if she wants to “watch a movie,” we all know what this is code for.

Option 6. The Recently Single Old Ex

This ex has been out of the text rotation for quite some time, but sending a quick “how you been” could never hurt. She’s recently single, extremely vulnerable, and easily to take advantage of since you already have the established rapport. Be her shoulder to cry on for an hour, and reap the benefits.

Option 7. The Out of Town Girl

You only see this girl when she’s in town to see friends, family, or business. Send a quick text to see when she’ll be in town next, and setup a friendly booty call.

Option 8. The Freak

She’s not the most attractive girl, but definitely makes up for it in the bedroom. With enough cocktails and no response from your other options, she’ll do for the night. We refer to this girl to as the 2-6er, you only see her between 2am and 6am.

Option 9. The Friend

You always have that attractive friend, who never has a boyfriend, but you have never hooked up with. If you’re desperate, why not send a text and see what happens. If she’s a real friend, she’ll forgive you the next day.

Option 10. The Mass Text

You send the general “Hey what are you up?” mass text to a dozen or so girls in your phone hoping to get a response and go from there.

If the progression list runs its course with no response, then it looks like you are waking up alone.

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Humor, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bikini Skiing and Snowboarding

With the skiing and snowboarding season underway in most parts of the country, we thought it would be a great time to take a deeper look at the timeless art of bikini skiing and snowboarding. Though often a rare site on the mountain, especially on the east coast, these ski bunnies can be found in select mountain towns throughout the western part of the United States. So, if you haven’t made it out to your local mountain yet, here is some easy motivation.

*****************************Continue Viewing All The Photos…***************************************************

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Art/Culture, Humor | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment