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Survival of the Blog

Cosmopolitan Launches Sex Position of the Day iPhone App

via justaguything.com

If you’re stuck in a rut with your girlfriend and have absolutely no imagination, the new Sex Position of the Day iPhone app from Cosmopolitan Magazine could help.

This to-go version of The Cosmo Kama Sutra for the iPhone features 77 sex positions direct from the pages of the famed book along with innovative features including the “Slot Machine Effect” and the “Shake,” each of which provides various sex positions for every day.

Cosmo’s Sex Position of the Day app also includes:

  • The Carnal Challenge Rating: the more flames a position displays, the higher the difficulty
  • Erotic Instructions: hints to help you make the most of the position and what to look forward to
  • Colorful Illustration: tasteful visuals that help you understand what the position should look like

Future updates will include additional positions from Cosmo’s Red-Hot Sex Guide and Cosmo’s Aqua Kama Sutra.

Cosmo’s Sex Position of the Day is available on iTunes for $1.99.

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Art/Culture, Dating/Sex, Dining/Living, Health/Sports, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Health Benefits of Having Sex

by Bravo muffslap.com

So you’re getting hot and heavy with your partner, I’m sure the last thing on your mind is how sex improves your health, and boosts your immune system. Good sex offers these 2 health benefits of much more.

Joy Davidson, PhD, a New York psychologist and sex therapist says, “the idea that we are vital, sexual creatures is still looked at in some cases with disgust or in other cases a bit of embarrassment. So to really take a look at how our sexuality adds to our life and enhances our life and our health, both physical and psychological, is eye-opening for many people.” The health benefits of sex are backed up with scientific scrutiny, so practice safe sex, and live abundantly.

Cures Headaches

Next time your girlfriend complains about her headache, and doesn’t want to have sex, remind her about it relieves pain and stress. Whenever you engage in sexual activity the hormone oxytocin is produced and distributed across your body. Due to this secretion, endorphins are released within your body, improving your mood and reducing pain naturally.

When someone is aroused, oxytocin levels not only increase, but they are the reason that orgasms come about. These increasing oxytocin levels can relieve pain; diminish headaches, cramps, and aid in body recovery.

Reduces Stress, Sleep Better

Studies have revealed that people with healthy sexual lifestyles feel more at ease and handle stress better. When you have an orgasm, an intense wave of relaxation overcomes your body, that’s why a lot of people sleep after climax. A healthy amount of sex helps you sleep better, and gives you a feeling of refreshment and energy throughout the day.

Boosts Immunity

Having sex on a regular basis can mean better physical health. Having sex a couple times a week releases higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA., which protects you against colds and other infections. Scientists at Wilkes University took saliva, which contains IgA, from 112 college students who reported the frequency of sex they had. Those who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of IgA than those who reported being abstinent, having sex less than once a week.

In addition, the hormone DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) is released every time you have an orgasm. DHEA keeps skin healthy, improves cognition, boosts your immune system, and even acts as an antidepressant. So keep the orgasms coming, and reap the benefits of a strong mind, body and soul.

Boost Self Esteem

Gina Ogden, PhD, a sex therapist in Cambridge, Mass says, “One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves. Great sex begins with self-esteem, and it raises it. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it.” Even people with strong self-esteem feel even better after having sex.

Improves Intimacy

Are you having intimacy problems with your partner? Studies have shown that having sex increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which promotes bond and trust with your partner. Oxytocin also promotes generosity, so next time you’re feeling generous in the bedroom, thank oxytocin.

Burns Calories

Sex is a form of exercise burning upwards of 85 calories per 30 minutes. You may think 85 calories, big deal? If you’re sexually active on a monthly basis, you could have 30-50 half-hour sessions.  Let’s average that to 40, and you could burn 3,400 calories in one month, which is nearly equal to 1 pound of weight. In addition to promoting weight loss, sex increases our heart rate and blood flow. Healthy doses of oxygen replenish the body, cleansing our systems of old wasteful products. This is the most pleasurable way to lose weight, improve health, and live longer if you ask me.

Sex Works Magic

The psychological and physical benefits of sex are undeniable. Sex boosts your immune system, reduces stress, fights off diseases, replenishes your body, and much more. Feel better about yourself with healthy doses of sex on a regular basis.

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Dining/Living, Health/Sports, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What’s Changed This Decade (1999-2009)

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dining/Living, Humor, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Who Will Die in 2010?

A lot of celebrities died in 2009, and many of them, like Brittany Murphy, were highly unpredictable. That’s why we’ve decided to take some initiative and make some celebrity death predictions for 2010.

Dick Clark used to be called The Boy Who Couldn’t Age.  Then he aged all at once really quickly.  Clark suffered from a stroke in 2004, and since then he’s been on the way out.  He’s still been co-hosting the New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” television special every year, but you can see that he’s slipping.  Last year, he wished the entire country a “Happeneryer” at midnight.  When your job is saying “Happy New Year” and you can’t do that anymore, that means it’s time to go.
 
Predicted Cause of Death: Dick loses control of his electric wheelchair, plows into the new years ball, and blacks out Times Square on live TV. That night, he dies peacefully in his sleep.
Larry King has been hosting Larry King Live for 25 years. He was really old when it started, and now he’s 25 years older really old.  he’s a f*cking dinosaur.  It looks like Larry drank from the wrong cup at the end of The Last Crusade, but then he stopped the rapid aging process in the middle, so he looks like he’s 300 years old, but he can still get around okay.  Unfortunately, you can only look 300 for so long.
 
Predicted Cause of Death: Larry will bump into a person on the street, causing his amulet necklace to slip free, fall to the ground and shatter, after which Larry will disintegrate into dust. It will later be determined that Larry’s ancient egyptian amulet held a curse that was the only thing keeping his mummified body alive.
 
This is an easy one.  People are amazed that she’s survived this long.  People actually congratulate Amy when they see that she’s still alive.  She parties hard, she’s not gonna slow down until she’s long gone, and nobody will be at all surprised when she dies.
 
Predicted Cause of Death: She’ll suffocate in a locked dumpster that she crawled into to smoke some crack.
The Bandit is not doing too well lately. His health is starting to fail, and he recently went to rehab for an addiction to prescription painkillers.  Burt entered rehab after his housekeeper found him lying unconscious in a pool of blood.  Apparently he’d been badly cut and was bleeding out.  It seems like Burt doesn’t like getting old, and once you get to that point, it’s only a matter of time.
 
Predicted Cause of Death: Burt will suffocate on his own mustache.
Lindsay Lohan is young, hot, rich, and crazy.  That’s a bad combo.  She’s fallen apart over the past couple of years, and it looks like she’ll be staying the course in 2010.  She’s completely self-destructive, and now she’s desperate to revitalize her career.  She probably has some kind of an ace up her sleeve, but if that doesn’t do the trick, then she’s definitely on suicide watch.
 
Predicted Cause of Death: Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of booze and coke.

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Art/Culture, Celebs, Humor, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s Not Going To Be OK

By Jon Skindzier  AskMen.com

If you’re one of those guys still lounging around and waiting for life to happen, consider this: By 35, many of the world’s great men weren’t just working on groundbreaking masterpieces, they’d finished them. Christopher Marlowe had inspired Shakespeare, and died, by the time he was 29; F. Scott Fitzgerald had written The Great Gatsby by 29; and Orson Welles wrote, directed and starred in what’s often considered the greatest film ever made at the doe-eyed age of 25.

In Welles’ day, most of us would have been married with kids by our mid-20s. Popular culture wants to convince us that we can remain young indefinitely (usually through buying things), but 30 is not the new 20 — 30 is 30. If you aren’t well on your way to what you really want to do with your life, you need to start yesterday. It’s not going to be OK unless you get off your ass and start doing something — now.

You are not going to stumble into your dream job

Your current job — what you’re doing right now — is your career and your identity. Does that thought satisfy you? If you took your current title and slapped it on a business card, would you be happy handing that thing out to hot girls, aware that they’d think that’s what you are as a person?

Careers take work. Dreams take even more. Malcolm Gladwell (a Canadian journalist) suggests that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master something, and that “genius” is as much effort as it is talent. Mozart wasn’t some god-child; he was just a kid who practiced his ass off until music was his language. The same thing applies to your future — you can’t expect to succeed if you’re just yawning your way through life with vague, distant dreams. It’s not going to be OK if that’s your approach.

Make it OK: Get to work at maximizing each day and becoming the dude you envision yourself to be now. You’re never going to get to where you want to be if you’re treating your goals like a halfhearted hobby.

Your dream girl will not just roll up and find you

Romantic comedies hinge on two people just wandering into a meaningful relationship. Sitcoms tell us we’ll be right down the hall from gorgeous chicks who will love us for our quirkiness.

These are fiction. These situations do not just happen, and it’s not going to be OK if you think they do. Most guys do get married, but a lot of them wind up on the business end of a shotgun wedding because somebody got pregnant. If you’re leaving your love life up to chance, hoping for destiny to settle things, you’re delusional. You can either put real effort into meeting someone you’ll be thrilled with, or you can flounder between crappy relationships until you’re suddenly the only unmarried guy you know.

Make it OK: Meet people, preferably by going someplace where women are, someplace you actually enjoy. Don’t go to yoga for the chicks if you hate yoga — start with being genuine and confident, and work from there.

We have a few more signs it’s not going to be OK and how you can make it OK by doing something about it

You’re not going to get rich overnight

Outside of winning the lottery (odds: slightly less than being hit by lightning) or just being rich to begin with, wealthy guys have money because they invested or saved. Wealth won’t just fall into your lap, and you won’t just automatically make more money in the future as a matter of course.

According to the 2009 Great Male Survey, 78% of you would only really feel comfortable retiring on a $1 million nest egg. The most important thing is that you don’t see the word “retiring” and assume we’re talking to some old guy — this is what you should be doing.

Make it OK: If you save $4,000 a year at 7%, you’ll wind up with more than twice as much cash at retirement age if you start by 30 instead of 40. So start. Set up an automatic savings plan. Seek out, and care about, financial advice.

Your health doesn’t come with a guarantee

Your body and your brain pretty much quit improving somewhere around age 20. Every year after that, it gets harder to even stay the same, much less to make radical, positive changes. And it’s only going to get harder tomorrow for you to run a mile or bike up a hill than it already is today. Work on the stuff you actually can fix, before you’re saddled with the inevitable stuff (i.e., thinning hair and a slowing metabolism).

Make it OK: Find a gym, or get back to one. Go to your doctor, and your dentist. Quit drinking like you’re 21. Your body remembers your excesses, and will punish you for them.

Don’t leave life to chance

If you think about midlife crises at all, you probably picture some trivial old-guy desperation that happens to other people. But not seeing them coming is what causes them — they’re the sudden realization that youth is irretrievably gone, and you’re more prone to that dawning shock if you’re idling through life and trusting your future to chance. 

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Dining/Living, Humor | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Free To Be Fully Yourself In 2010

Anne Naylor Personal motivation consultant and author,  HuffingtonPost.com

A New Year, a new decade has arrived, bringing perhaps a fresh start. Are you being true to yourself, doing what gives you joy and satisfaction? Are you content with the way your life is going? Or do you feel there may be something missing that you would now like to find?

The turn of a decade may prompt you to change. A simple change of routine can give you a new perspective: finding new ways of going to work; daring yourself to sing, dance or play a musical instrument, when you never thought you could; putting your left leg into your pants first instead of the right, or vice versa. I did that this morning and it felt really weird.

It may take a dramatic turn of events – like job loss, divorce, ill-health – before you get nudged out of a role you had assumed and into being truly happy in your own skin, doing what you most love to do and finding new joy through it. I have observed that people who “retire” often take up a vocation that is closer to their hearts, and reach a peak of life fulfilment, sometimes greater financial success, in their 70’s.

What does it take to be free to be fully yourself? You might risk the disapproval of those you know, but win new friends. You might give up looking through a glass darkly, seeing how wrong things may be, and find the beauty in simple events around you. You may focus on, and appreciate, your strengths and qualities, and stop criticizing your faults and weaknesses. You might take yourself less seriously, and have a good laugh when you do something stupid. You might stop trying to live up to impossible expectations of yourself, and breathe a welcome sigh of relief. You might come to see the world as a friendly place that forgives your mistakes, and welcomes your triumphs with open arms and congratulations.

Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will
and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom…
The power to choose, to respond, to change.

Stephen Covey

You see, I believe we may have much more freedom than we generally realize. As creatures of habit, we tend to get locked in to beliefs, expectations and patterns of behaviour that limit our freedom. How could you be more free? What would it take? And would it be worth it?

Watch how Ricochet changes her career direction for greater meaning, purpose and fun.

5 Keys To Getting Free To Be Yourself

1. Love

Love yourself. Love your enemies. Love your mistakes. Love your way through your challenges. Love is the liberator.

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.

Rabindranath Tagore

2. Let go

Surrender the need to be in control. It has been said that control is the master addiction. Addictions trap you in false expectations.

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.
Hannah Arendt

3. Discipline

Eliminate the negative – thinking and projecting worst case scenarios. Accentuate the positive – focus on the beauty, joy and peace, in and around you; what it is you want to experience more.

Freedom is from within.

Frank Lloyd Wright

4. Stand tall

Literally. With both feet on the ground. Your head held high. Breathe in deeply. Breathe out any limitations, restrictions, fears, doubts, feelings of being less than who you truly are – a remarkable being, living in an astonishing world at this time.

Freedom lies in being bold.
Robert Frost

5. Act

Take your first step to gaining greater freedom. Give yourself permission to be fully who you truly are, honouring your unique gifts, talents, strengths and abilities. Communicate your intention to those who are important to you. Invite their support.

For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains,
but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.

Nelson Mandela

How could you enjoy greater freedom in your life? Who do you know who inspires you as a “free spirit”? Who are your role models for freedom, and why?

There is nothing wrong with America that faith, love of freedom, intelligence,
and energy of her citizens cannot cure.

Dwight D Eisenhower

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Dining/Living, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Top 10: Ways To Become An Evolved Man

via AskMen.com

If you want to become the kind of guy who attracts women automatically — and always has women in his life — it’s important that you become an “evolved man.” You need to operate on a higher level than the average Joe. When you do, you’ll stand out from other guys, attract the women you want and get a hell of a lot more out of life in the process. Here are 10 tips to help you evolve and grow as a man — starting today.

No.10 – Teach others what you learn

If you learn something great, the first order of business is to go teach it to as many people as you can. There’s something about teaching that makes the learning stick. If someone teaches you something and then you go teach it to someone else, it gets internalized deep within you. You’ll “get it” much faster. Teach others every great thing you learn — immediately. Then, when you need it in the future, it will pop up for you automatically. Women will notice, believe me.

No.9 – Enjoy the process of learning

I think it’s a tragedy that school is so boring. We have so much pain attached to the learning process that as soon as we get out of school we never want to learn anything again. However, if you learn how to love the process of learning even more than what you’re learning, you’ll spend the rest of your life learning new things and growing as a man. Continually look for new things to learn; heck, in the process you’ll meet women who love learning too.

No.8 – Accept anxiety

Anxiety happens whenever we’re taking on something new and we need to become a beginner again. Most guys won’t try new things because they’re afraid of looking like a dumbass. Because they’re afraid of getting embarrassed, they trap themselves at their current level of development. But when you’re willing to try new things — and even look silly for a while — you’ll be able to see things with new eyes, and it’ll bring tremendous benefit to your life. Accept anxiety as a good thing:  It means you’re learning something new.

No.7 – Focus on your inner game

Because we are so instant gratification-minded, we think techniques with women are where it’s at. But the truth is this:  When you work on your inner game and learn about the deeper principles that are at work, you’ll pick up the techniques along the way. If you learn from someone who just knows the tricks, when you get into real-world situations you won’t know when or how to use them when the situation changes slightly. However, if you hang out with more evolved masters who teach you the principles, it may take a bit longer, but you’ll see how the techniques fit into the bigger picture. You’ll be much better at executing the technique — and you’ll be much more successful. Don’t get seduced by techniques. Get deep.

No.6 – Travel

If you’re not regularly getting outside of that little bubble you live in, you’re limiting yourself and your perspective. When you expose yourself to new places, people and ideas, it’ll expand your mind and your view on things. I personally believe if everyone in the world could travel twice a year to far away countries, sit down with the people there and share a few meals, it would do a world of good. The more you travel and expand your mind, the more interesting a person you become, the more stories you have and the more attractive you become to women.

No.5 – Know your purpose in life

The incredible number of choices we have nowadays is a blessing — but it’s also a boat anchor tied around our necks, and we’re trying to swim. Confucius said: “Man who chases two rabbits catches none.” Exactly. We have so many options that most of us are confused about what path to take. We haven’t taken the time to sit down, block out all distractions and figure out what our own life purpose is. I believe you can find your purpose in life and clarify it over time. The more you act on it, the clearer it will become — and the bigger it will become. If you don’t know what your purpose is, go lock yourself in a room with a pad of paper and a pen and don’t do anything until you figure it out. Eventually, it’ll come to you. Few guys know that this is one of the most important things you can do to become incredibly attractive to women.

No.4 – Surround yourself with successful models

If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful models. One of the miracles of technology is that we can buy an audio or video recording, put on headphones and hear (or watch) the teachings of experts around the world, both living and dead. Compare this to plopping down on the couch, watching the news and complaining to your buddies about how screwed up the world is. Take 30 minutes a day to listen or watch a master of success, like Brian Tracy or Napoleon Hill, and your life will be transformed in a year. Try it.

No.3 – Stop giving approval to get it

Almost all of us guys do this one. If we find a woman we really like, we think if we let her do whatever she wants and get away with anything, she’ll love us and stay with us. In other words, we give approval in order to get it. There’s just one problem: It’s manipulative and will almost always backfire. If you’re not successful with women, you’re probably doing a lot of manipulative things you’re not aware of. Just because you’re sweet and nice doesn’t obligate her to be sweet and nice back. Dating doesn’t work that way.

No.2 – Stop seeking approval

People who seek approval are constantly doing things so that other people will accept them. They’re looking for cues to see if people approve of them, and they continually change their behavior to what they think other people will like. They end up wearing out their welcome and being needy — which absolutely kills attraction. Most guys do this without even  knowing it. Looking for the approval of women is like a drug: The more you get, the more you want, the worse it gets — and the less attractive you become. When you catch yourself seeking approval, shift gears and do something else. Women will love you for it.

No.1 – Stop apologizing

Most guys who face challenges with women and dating feel they need to apologize for everything they do that other people don’t like. Too many guys do this simply to get a woman’s approval, thinking if they make themselves weak and apologetic that somehow women will actually like it. Are you kidding? However, if you make it a rule to simply stop apologizing for everything, over time you’ll build a stronger self-image, take more responsibility in your life and let other people have their judgments without it affecting you. You’ll then be able to see when it’s truly appropriate to apologize. You’ll enjoy a nice boost to your personal power  and your ability to attract quality women.

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Dining/Living, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why You Need To Get Rid Of Bad Company

By Nate Steere  AskMen.com

If you’re trying to get ahead and improve yourself, you’ve taken steps to set yourself up for success. You’ve gotten in shape (mentally and physically), you’re working hard on yourself, and you’re reading books and articles with information you need. If you’re trying to make improvements, great work — most people try to get ahead by blaming their problems on their environment, and don’t take any of the blame for why they’re stuck in a rut.

However, there are ways your environment can drag you down — look at the people around you. If the people you’re friends with, or associate with at work, are a negative influence, guess what? You’re being influenced, whether you’re aware of it or not. Now, any of your friends can have a bad patch, and being there to pick them up when they’re down is part of friendship. But we’re talking about that other friend — the one whose idea of fun is always getting wasted, who can never chip in on the bill and always has a crisis they need help cleaning up. You ignore their calls, and the one time you do pick up feels like one too many. If you’re like most guys, you don’t seek out the company of these people, but when they initiate a meet-up, you tend to accommodate. It’s easy to say and hard to do, but here are four compelling reasons you need to cut ties.

They are shaping your attitude

Jim Rohn is a self-help author who famously said: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Your attitude, the way you look at the world, is influenced by who you spend time with. Think about it: Your worldview is shaped by the things you see and experience in the world. The way you invest your time in people and activities shapes the man you become. That’s why it’s so important for guys to travel, to see new things and expand their horizons. On the flip side, if you spend your time in a smoky bar, listening to somebody complain about how their job sucks, their boss sucks, their love life sucks, and there’s never enough money, it’s going to rub off on you. Do you leave these sessions feeling charged and ready to take on the world? No, they juice you up with negative energy and teach you to look at your life like a victim. That’s just a bad attitude — we’ve all had friends who get into too many fights, trouble with the law, drugs, and worse. You grow to fit your environment, so make sure your environment breeds excellence and positivity.

They are derailing you from your goals

Have you ever been driving home from work, with the plan to cook dinner, clean up around the house, throw in a load of laundry, exercise, save a cat that’s stuck in a tree, solve the Middle Eastern situation, read for a while, then work a little more on your plan to go into business for yourself? Then your phone rings with your buddies telling you to meet them at the bar. You tell yourself “I’ll do all that stuff tomorrow…,” and the next thing you recall is your alarm waking you up in the morning. Listen, plans change, and one of the best parts of being an adult is that you get to make responsible decisions about your life. You can eat pretty much whatever you want to for dinner. Feel like grabbing a DVD tonight? Go for it. And if the offer to do something fun comes along, by all means, rearrange your schedule and have a good time.

Here’s the hitch. When people constantly pull you away from those other areas of your life, it can cause you to become unbalanced. If you’re not achieving your personal goals, you need to balance it out — and your friends should be supportive of that. If taking a pass for the night causes them to tease you, or worse, make fun of your other goals, take a look at that. Granted, good friends bust balls left and right, but they truly want to see you succeed. Toxic friends, on the other hand, are afraid of seeing you succeed, as a reminder how they’re not succeeding in their own lives. If your friends aren’t respectful of your dreams and ambitions, they won’t respect the time you devote to those pursuits, and they’ll try and get you to come to the bar instead.

They’re costing you money

Have another look at the Jim Rohn quote in the first tip. This is outstanding advice in all aspects of friendship, but it’s especially true when it comes to the area of personal finance. Another speaker, Randy Gage, adapted this quote to read, “You earn the average of the salaries of the five people you spend the most time with.” More excellent advice! You’re reading this article, so you’re the kind of person who recognizes wisdom when he sees it. Then again, go ahead and prove Gage right: Grab a piece of paper, list the names of the five people you spend the most time with (a total of five from your work and personal life, typically), write down their approximate salaries (it’s always less than they lead you to believe), add ’em up, and divide by five. This will probably be very close to what you earn. So, what’s the lesson? If you want more money, hang out with rich people? Not at all. Success in business is related to drive, hard work, persistence, and a hundred other qualities. High earners bring value to their companies and are rewarded for it. Their outer reality reflects their inner reality. Thus, hang out around people who give value to their companies. They’re much more likely to give value to their friends as well.

You’re hurting them

OK, so if none of the above arguments have influenced you at all, what about this one? By being accepting of the company of toxic people, you’re not just hurting yourself, you’re hurting them. Ouch! But it’s true; by being available to hang out and hear all of your friends’ problems, you are allowing them to continue in their negativity. If they have a sympathetic ear and a cold beer on hand to deal with their sorrow, they’re going to continue using negativity as a path through life. Problems are meant to challenge us, to make us grow by rising to the occasion. It’s not always easy, but the true path around a problem is through it: stepping up, manning up and solving what needs to be solved. By always being sympathetic when your friends complain, you’re allowing them to be beat by the problems in their lives. That’s right: Now you’re the one being a bad friend.

Being a good man

Hopefully, these points have convinced you to stop spending time and energy on the toxic people in your life. But, also don’t get confused about the point here. Everyone has ups and downs, and the time will come where your true friends need somebody to listen, a shoulder to cry on or even some real help. None of that makes your friend a negative person. You can tell the difference between somebody having a bad day, bad month or even a bad year, versus a person who is in the dumps because they are choosing to be. So don’t abandon your friends — friendship is one of the very best parts of life. And don’t tolerate the people who use you as a crutch — you’ll end up smelling like an armpit. 

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Dining/Living | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pretty Is as Pretty Does

By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Health News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

To be more physically attractive to the opposite sex, you may want to give your personality a makeover.

A new study states that “personality goes a long way toward determining your attractiveness; it can even change people’s impressions of how good looking you are.”

The study included 78 college students at a northeastern U.S. university.

First, they watched a computer screen display 36 facial photos of members of the opposite sex.

The students rated the physical attractiveness of the people in the photos on a scale of 1 (extremely unattractive) to 10 (extremely attractive).

Next, the students were asked to count down from a large number by sevens and then up by 13s.

That task was all about distracting them before they saw the photos again. As the photos reappeared, the students heard about each person’s personality.

Some were described as being honest, humorous, mature, intelligent, polite, and helpful. Others were called abusive, offensive, unstable, cruel, unfair, and rude.

Lastly, the students repeated their physical attractiveness ratings and noted whether they wanted to befriend or date the people in the photos.

Personality rocked the results.

People who looked good lost ground if they had nasty personalities. And those in the middle of the pack or further down on the looks scale benefited from an admirable personality.

Likewise, people weren’t keen to date or befriend the beautiful but cruel. Instead, they’d rather spend time with someone with a better personality.

The results were a bit stronger for women. But “personality was of great importance to both genders,” write the researchers.

They included Gary Lewandowski Jr., PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Monmouth University in New Jersey.

Single students and students in romantic relationships both connected physical attractiveness and personality.

The bottom line: “While it may still be important to be physically attractive, it is also important to convey a desirable personality,” write the researchers.

They add that “these findings are particularly encouraging as cosmetic surgery becomes increasingly common.”

Their study appears in the scholarly journal Personal Relationships.

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Confessions: Addicted to Internet Dating

WebMD Commentary from “Marie Claire” Magazine

By Christopher Farah

I waited until she closed the bathroom door.

Click. That meant two full minutes until she came out — two full minutes for me to grab my computer, check my online dating profile, and — inevitably, guiltily — slam my laptop shut just as she snuggled up next to me on the sofa.

What was I doing? Just days earlier I had been ready, even eager, to take my profile down for good. After almost a year of searching and scouring every Website in Los Angeles for the perfect match, I had — I thought — finally found her: the One for Me. OFM had it all: intelligence with a streak of creativity, the ability not just to hear but to listen, a searing sense of humor with a tang of sarcasm, and a really great rack. We started seeing each other regularly — quickly moving from making out in my car to doing much more in my bedroom — and talked on the phone every day. Everything was perfect.

Except for this: I still checked my profile once, twice, three times a day. Even when she spent the night. I was an addict, and my drug was online dating.

At first I tried to rationalize my behavior. What’s the harm in doing a little casual “people watching,” right? Like being at a café or a park. And who doesn’t wonder every now and then if maybe they could do a little better than their current mate?

But this was different. On the Internet, I had an actual catalog of available women, listed with their quirks, characteristics, and measurements. Finding someone better was no longer innocent curiosity; it was easy — and it became an obsession. Yes, OFM listened, but what if someone else listened better? True, OFM was smart, but couldn’t I find someone smarter? And fine, OFM had a really, really great rack, but don’t flat-chested women also have a lot to offer?

Soon, looking became winking, winking became hot-listing, hot-listing became e-mailing, and e-mailing became seeing other people. I never found out if OFM knew. Unlike me, she stopped checking her profile soon after we met. There was no official breakup; I just didn’t return calls as quickly, started canceling dates with her so I could try out new potential matches, and eventually we drifted apart. With so many new “opportunities” out there — with the illusion that a life-changing upgrade was just a click away — I couldn’t maintain my focus on our relationship.

That was a year ago. I’ve dated many women since. None of them has quite lived up to OFM…but there’s someone better out there, right? I’m sure of it.

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment