The Neanderthal Post

Survival of the Blog

Real Aphrodisiacs to Boost Desire

By Helen Fisher, PhD    Oprah.com

Forget oysters and chocolate. The most powerful aphrodisiacs are already inside our bodies.

Mankind has searched for aphrodisiacs for centuries. The ancient Romans slurped down oysters, the Chinese swore by shark fin soup, and the Arabs were keen on camel’s hump. But the most powerful aphrodisiacs are already inside our bodies. Humans have evolved three different brain systems to encourage mating: sex drive (lust), feelings of attachment (trust), and romance (being in love). Each of these systems plays a role in desire, and scientists are now beginning to pinpoint the bodily chemicals that trigger each.

Lust: Sex drive is associated with a class of hormones called androgens, particularly testosterone (yes, women produce it, too). Today women with low libido can get a prescription for testosterone, even though it’s FDA approved only for use in men. But women can also increase their levels without medication. Playing competitive sports has been shown to trigger testosterone production; in fact, women get a bigger boost than men prior to a competition. Making love can also create the same effect. Studies have suggested that sex raises testosterone levels, so the more sex you have, the more sex you desire.

Trust: Feelings of trust and attachment are fostered by the chemical oxytocin. In a study conducted at the University of Zurich, couples who used a nasal spray containing oxytocin before discussing an ongoing marital conflict were more likely to engage in friendly, positive communication than those who didn’t take a whiff. You can stimulate oxytocin naturally with touch. Hold hands while you watch TV, trade massages, or sleep in each other’s arms.

Love: The third chemical that drives relationships is dopamine, a key player in the brain’s pleasure center that’s been found to promote romantic love. Research shows that novelty—taking risks or trying something new—can trigger the release of dopamine in the brain. I’m not just talking about novelty in the bedroom (although that would be a good start). You can get the same effect from sampling a new type of cuisine together or riding the roller coaster at an amusement park.

The afterglow: Scientists may be figuring out how brain chemistry influences emotion, but don’t expect to see a real love potion anytime soon. That’s because you and I are more than just chemicals. We’re thinking beings with a host of experiences, values, ideas, and memories—all of which share the stage with the chemical systems for lust, attachment, and romance. No product will ever trick you into loving someone you really don’t like. But if you’ve already found the right person and want to give your relationship a kick, before you brew up a batch of camel’s hump soup, you might give my less-exotic aphrodisiacs a try.

December 30, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Signs You Are A Sex Addict

Sex addiction can involve many different sexual antics; it may be a strong desire to have sex, masturbate, watch porn or flirt. A person is defined as a sex addict when his behavior gets out of control and starts to have a negative impact on his life. These feelings and behaviors cause a great deal of shame, hopelessness and confusion for the sex addict. These feelings are also normally accompanied by denial, despite it being an unmanageable problem in the sex addict’s life. 

Sexual addiction takes up a great deal of energy, and you know you’re in trouble when your behavior causes relationship breakdowns, job problems, legal issues, and a loss of interest in anything non-sexual. If you suspect you have a problem, read on for some signs that you might be a sex addict.

Note: Understand that there is a big difference between a creep and a bona fide sex addict, so being a general pervert or filth monger doesn’t qualify you as a sex addict. Being a sex addict means your sexual desires are significantly impinging on your life in a negative way — which does not include being unable to pick up, by the way.  

You’re leading a double life

Do you have an extra girlfriend or mistress? Do you regularly cheat on your partner?  Do you keep your sex life a secret from those around you? Leading a double life for sexual gain can be a sign you’re a sex addict. It is true that many people (men and women alike) cheat on their partners, but a compulsion to do so is abnormal. Keeping your sex life a secret may also point to a problem: Why don’t you want to reveal your activities? When you know that what you are doing is wrong but you can’t seem to help yourself, you have a problem. 

You frequently seek out sexual material

A preoccupation with all things sex can lead to a very narrow existence. When you constantly and consistently only seek out media that is sex-related, this might be a sign you’re a sex addict. We are not referring to the average guy who enjoys watching the occasional porn, looking at photographs or reading sex articles; it refers to the guy who is always seeking out sexually related material to the exclusion of most other things. It could also include a preoccupation with things like adult dating sites; perhaps you are not being very productive at work because you are desperately seeking Susan/Sarah/Savannah.  

You’re compromising your personal relationships

This sign you’re a sex addict refers to compromising your relationship with your girlfriend or wife, but it can easily extend to social and work circles as well. You may cheat, be deceptive or be untrue to yourself and your partner in a variety of ways. Being unfaithful doesn’t just mean having sexual contact with another person; it can be demonstrated in other ways like regularly visiting strip clubs or X-rated movie theaters without your partner’s knowledge.   Continue to read…

December 15, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment