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Survival of the Blog

Confessions: Addicted to Internet Dating

WebMD Commentary from “Marie Claire” Magazine

By Christopher Farah

I waited until she closed the bathroom door.

Click. That meant two full minutes until she came out — two full minutes for me to grab my computer, check my online dating profile, and — inevitably, guiltily — slam my laptop shut just as she snuggled up next to me on the sofa.

What was I doing? Just days earlier I had been ready, even eager, to take my profile down for good. After almost a year of searching and scouring every Website in Los Angeles for the perfect match, I had — I thought — finally found her: the One for Me. OFM had it all: intelligence with a streak of creativity, the ability not just to hear but to listen, a searing sense of humor with a tang of sarcasm, and a really great rack. We started seeing each other regularly — quickly moving from making out in my car to doing much more in my bedroom — and talked on the phone every day. Everything was perfect.

Except for this: I still checked my profile once, twice, three times a day. Even when she spent the night. I was an addict, and my drug was online dating.

At first I tried to rationalize my behavior. What’s the harm in doing a little casual “people watching,” right? Like being at a café or a park. And who doesn’t wonder every now and then if maybe they could do a little better than their current mate?

But this was different. On the Internet, I had an actual catalog of available women, listed with their quirks, characteristics, and measurements. Finding someone better was no longer innocent curiosity; it was easy — and it became an obsession. Yes, OFM listened, but what if someone else listened better? True, OFM was smart, but couldn’t I find someone smarter? And fine, OFM had a really, really great rack, but don’t flat-chested women also have a lot to offer?

Soon, looking became winking, winking became hot-listing, hot-listing became e-mailing, and e-mailing became seeing other people. I never found out if OFM knew. Unlike me, she stopped checking her profile soon after we met. There was no official breakup; I just didn’t return calls as quickly, started canceling dates with her so I could try out new potential matches, and eventually we drifted apart. With so many new “opportunities” out there — with the illusion that a life-changing upgrade was just a click away — I couldn’t maintain my focus on our relationship.

That was a year ago. I’ve dated many women since. None of them has quite lived up to OFM…but there’s someone better out there, right? I’m sure of it.

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Set The Scene For Unforgettable Sex


In a relationship, it’s sometimes easy to put sex in the proverbial backseat of your life; especially when work, bills, eating, sleeping, and all that other unsexy stuff comes into play.

So, today’s tip is for those guys who want to reignite the passion — or for the guys who simply want that look of amazement from their women after a night of bang-on sex.

Here’s how you can set the scene for unforgettable sex.

Rent a room
The great thing about renting a hotel room is that you don’t have to worry about destroying the sheets with chocolate syrup, nor will you care if you yell and scream, because you’ll likely never see your “neighbors” again.

Of course, you don’t have to rent a room if you think it’s too expensive. You can always pimp your own room instead.

Either way, you have to set the room up for sex. Get the proper lighting (candles or red lights), proper music (something ambient), sexual props (blindfolds, tethers, etc.), and other add-ons.

Send her an invite & an outfit
Send her a written invitation, along with a box that contains one hell of an outfit for her to wear (think of your most favorite fantasy vixen and go with that). Something short and black usually works well if characters aren’t your thing. Lace and satin look great on any skin tone and will make her feel super sexy.

Get the right food
To enhance the mood, make sure the room is stocked with the necessities. Buy chilled champagne (or other liquor) and strawberries (or other fruit — already sliced), chocolate, water, and so on, so that you’re both comfortable.

Don’t head straight to the main event when you set the scene for unforgettable sex.

Take her out first
Don’t head straight to the room when you meet up. You need a buildup, something that’ll make her want to take you somewhere private. If she’s adventurous and open-minded, take her to a strip club and get her a lap dance.

If that’s not her thing, then opt to take her dancing. If you hate dancing, then encourage her to dance for you while you stand at the bar and watch. Don’t get hammered and don’t get her hammered, otherwise the evening will be a total waste and, instead of sex, it’ll involve a toilet bowl and a very foul stench.

The idea is to get yourselves revved up for what’s in store once you’re alone and naked.

Pack her overnight bag
This applies only if you’ve opted to rent a room or don’t live together. Head to the pharmacy and invest in some toothpaste, toothbrushes, hair products, and anything else you think she’ll need for the morning after.

Break the sexual monotony
If your girl is used to having sex in a certain fashion, shake things up a bit by doing things differently tonight. If you usually take on a missionary stance, then try doggy style. If foreplay usually involves nothing more than kissing, this time bring your penis up to her mouth and let her kiss it instead.

Go down on her and while you’re licking her clitoris, put your fingers inside her and search for that G-spot. And dude, take your time: you’ve got all night.

Kiss her, touch her in places she’s not used to being touched, and let her appreciate your body as well. Play games, move to other parts of the room (or house) and introduce a whole new you to your girl.

keep it interesting

You don’t really have to spend money to ensure great sex, but every once in a while, if you make her feel like gold, she’ll want to show you how much she wants you — in a physical way. And nothing makes a woman hornier than knowing you think she’s incredibly sexy. 

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I Want To Be An Avatar

The movie Avatar is a pretty bad ass movie. But as always with semi science-fiction movies there´re people who take it a little bit to seriously. Take this girl, she wants to pay her respect to the people of Pandora, so she paints herself blue. But then again who am I to judge? See for yourself. 

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Humor | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Hypnotist vs Police Officer

This guy is trying to get a cop chasing him by burning headlights and doubling the speed limit. When the cop pulls him over, he uses several techniques that hypnotists have been using for decades. He’s able to bring so much confusion to the cop so that he can actually turn the tables, ask the cop for some directions and drive away.

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Humor, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Man vs Woman: Anal Sex


Thoughts on Anal Sex

She Said:

Proceed with caution and be sure permission to come aboard was granted. If I were to add up the number of my friends who won’t consider anal sex an option to the number who enjoy it, I’d have a 70/30 ratio. Most women just aren’t comfortable with it. They think there is a perfectly fine hole next door, why would he need to use that one? What many women don’t understand is that anal sex offers a whole different sensation to a man. For men it is a feeling of conquest, which is a huge turn on. For the woman who isn’t one hundred percent into it, she could be feeling overwhelmed emotionally by the domination of the act. More than just the conquest and domination aspect of it, it offers a totally different sexual sensation. It is generally a tighter and drier feeling for the man and many women swear that it creates far more intense orgasms. Essentially, it depends on the comfort level of both parties with the act. Don’t go poking around without talking about it first.

He Said:

Variety is the spice of life. Anal sex is certainly a great addition to any bedroom relationship. Let’s face it, if you are having sex in the same positions over and over, even sex can become boring. Anal sex is certainly a conquest to a guy if he can successfully convince his partner to engage in backdoor activities. Anal Sex is a little bit more risky and can usually lead to a guy feeling his partner is more adventurous in the bed room; possibly even opening the door to other requests. The true great challenge for a man is how to bring up this topic. There is always the casual conversation with your partner to try to find out what she is willing to do. Most women appreciate the conversation and are more likely to try it if you speak about it first and also get some lubrication to help in the conquest. There are even lubrications that will actually numb the back door if your partner is scared of the pain. The back door is something most guys want to do, but are usually scared to bring up. So guys, if you want to engage in these activities, have a conversation with your partner rather than sticking a finger in her backdoor and waiting for a reaction. This will ensure that you don’t shock her with your sneak attack and that you will be better prepared with the proper lubrications if you two decide to take the plunge.

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Last Resort Booty Calls


Every NFL quarterback has a progression of check down options when his primary receiver isn’t available. He looks for his first option, second, and so on. Just like a quarterback, guys have a progression list for their late night booty call. When a guy strikes out at the bar, and doesn’t want to wake up alone, he turns to his options. The average guy has about 10, but if you’re Christian Troy from Niptuck, your options can be upward of 20. Text with caution.

Option 1. The Current Booty Call

This woman is always your first option and knows the routine. Hopefully she’s awake, available, and in the mood.

Option 2. The New Girl

Send a quick text to see if she’s still awake and possibly drunk enough to make a bad decision. If you really like this girl, and want the relationship to be more than a booty call, don’t text her when you’re hammered.

Option 3. The Old Booty Call

She hasn’t been around much, but there’s be no harm in sending a text and seeing if she would still be game.

Option 4. The Ex

Always a dangerous but quick “what are you up to” text. You’ll end up at her house with a nice wrestle session under the sheets. Unfortunately, you’ll have to pay for in the morning with pointless relationship talk.

Option 5. The Attractive Neighbor

This girls in in walking distance, but you haven’t hooked up with her, yet. If you think she’s around, send a flirty text asking if she wants to “watch a movie,” we all know what this is code for.

Option 6. The Recently Single Old Ex

This ex has been out of the text rotation for quite some time, but sending a quick “how you been” could never hurt. She’s recently single, extremely vulnerable, and easily to take advantage of since you already have the established rapport. Be her shoulder to cry on for an hour, and reap the benefits.

Option 7. The Out of Town Girl

You only see this girl when she’s in town to see friends, family, or business. Send a quick text to see when she’ll be in town next, and setup a friendly booty call.

Option 8. The Freak

She’s not the most attractive girl, but definitely makes up for it in the bedroom. With enough cocktails and no response from your other options, she’ll do for the night. We refer to this girl to as the 2-6er, you only see her between 2am and 6am.

Option 9. The Friend

You always have that attractive friend, who never has a boyfriend, but you have never hooked up with. If you’re desperate, why not send a text and see what happens. If she’s a real friend, she’ll forgive you the next day.

Option 10. The Mass Text

You send the general “Hey what are you up?” mass text to a dozen or so girls in your phone hoping to get a response and go from there.

If the progression list runs its course with no response, then it looks like you are waking up alone.

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Humor, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bikini Skiing and Snowboarding

With the skiing and snowboarding season underway in most parts of the country, we thought it would be a great time to take a deeper look at the timeless art of bikini skiing and snowboarding. Though often a rare site on the mountain, especially on the east coast, these ski bunnies can be found in select mountain towns throughout the western part of the United States. So, if you haven’t made it out to your local mountain yet, here is some easy motivation.

*****************************Continue Viewing All The Photos…***************************************************

January 2, 2010 Posted by | Art/Culture, Humor | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Real Aphrodisiacs to Boost Desire

By Helen Fisher, PhD

Forget oysters and chocolate. The most powerful aphrodisiacs are already inside our bodies.

Mankind has searched for aphrodisiacs for centuries. The ancient Romans slurped down oysters, the Chinese swore by shark fin soup, and the Arabs were keen on camel’s hump. But the most powerful aphrodisiacs are already inside our bodies. Humans have evolved three different brain systems to encourage mating: sex drive (lust), feelings of attachment (trust), and romance (being in love). Each of these systems plays a role in desire, and scientists are now beginning to pinpoint the bodily chemicals that trigger each.

Lust: Sex drive is associated with a class of hormones called androgens, particularly testosterone (yes, women produce it, too). Today women with low libido can get a prescription for testosterone, even though it’s FDA approved only for use in men. But women can also increase their levels without medication. Playing competitive sports has been shown to trigger testosterone production; in fact, women get a bigger boost than men prior to a competition. Making love can also create the same effect. Studies have suggested that sex raises testosterone levels, so the more sex you have, the more sex you desire.

Trust: Feelings of trust and attachment are fostered by the chemical oxytocin. In a study conducted at the University of Zurich, couples who used a nasal spray containing oxytocin before discussing an ongoing marital conflict were more likely to engage in friendly, positive communication than those who didn’t take a whiff. You can stimulate oxytocin naturally with touch. Hold hands while you watch TV, trade massages, or sleep in each other’s arms.

Love: The third chemical that drives relationships is dopamine, a key player in the brain’s pleasure center that’s been found to promote romantic love. Research shows that novelty—taking risks or trying something new—can trigger the release of dopamine in the brain. I’m not just talking about novelty in the bedroom (although that would be a good start). You can get the same effect from sampling a new type of cuisine together or riding the roller coaster at an amusement park.

The afterglow: Scientists may be figuring out how brain chemistry influences emotion, but don’t expect to see a real love potion anytime soon. That’s because you and I are more than just chemicals. We’re thinking beings with a host of experiences, values, ideas, and memories—all of which share the stage with the chemical systems for lust, attachment, and romance. No product will ever trick you into loving someone you really don’t like. But if you’ve already found the right person and want to give your relationship a kick, before you brew up a batch of camel’s hump soup, you might give my less-exotic aphrodisiacs a try.

December 30, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Evolution of Porn and Erotica

Not so long ago, many people treated pornography like a dirty little secret. Adult movies were kept in video stores’ back rooms or sold in seedy sex shops. Erotic books, magazines and toys were created with men in mind, and women were largely ignored…unless they were nude.   But times are changing. As the Internet gained popularity, pornography found its way into more and more homes. Now, Americans spend up to $10 billion a year on porn, and men aren’t the only ones supporting this highly profitable industry.

“Something’s going on in bedrooms across America,” Oprah says. “It has been reported that 1 in 3 consumers of online porn in our country are now women.”   To find out how porn is changing and why women are more open to the experience, Lisa Ling visited adult film sets and spoke to industry insiders. Though 70 percent of women say they keep their online viewing habits secret, Lisa says there’s no question that more and more women are watching and buying erotica and porn.

“It’s not so much that it’s gotten better. It’s changing,” she says. “Now there is porn that is being produced specifically for women by women, in some cases, and it just looks different. It feels different. There’s more of a storyline. It’s more romantic.”    During her investigation, Lisa met Steve Hirsch, the Ivy League–educated CEO of the world’s largest adult film studio, Vivid Entertainment. Steve says porn producers are trying to keep up with the needs of new female consumers.

“I would say that 30 to 40 percent of the market is female. Now, some of that are men who rent movies to watch with their wives,” he says. “We saw this huge couples’ market that was untapped and nobody was really going after.”   To make porn more appealing to women, Steve says his studio began producing a different sort of adult film. “I think that there’s more foreplay. There’s more tease,” he says. “Women, in a lot of cases, like to watch movies with story lines.”   Continue reading…

December 28, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Angelina Jolie: Fidelity Isn’t Essential

via Huffington Post

If the illustrious Telegraph’s translation is to be believed, Angelina Jolie isn’t tied to the idea of fidelity.

Jolie gave an interview to Das Neue in which she said:

“I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship. It’s worse to leave your partner and talk badly about him afterwards.

“Neither Brad nor I have ever claimed that living together means to be chained together. We make sure that we never restrict each other.”

She added, “The sparks fly at home if the nice Brad fails to see that he’s wrong and reacts in a defiant way. Then I can get so angry that I tear his shirt.”

Jolie and Brad Pitt have been together over four years and were in New York earlier Christmas week with their kids.

December 27, 2009 Posted by | Celebs, Dating/Sex | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Where all the good guys are

By John DeVore, The Frisky

(The Frisky) — Women always seem to ask me where all the good men are, as if these near-mythical dudes are hiding behind bushes, chained up in some vampire’s basement, or are just rare and elusive, like the snow leopard.

Normally, I have to resist responding, “Maybe the good guys are just avoiding you.”

But the answer to this frequent, lovelorn lament is simple: The good men are right under your nose.

And that’s the damn truth. That’s right, ladies. The good men you pine for are right there, all up in your grill, listening to your bellyaching, patiently enduring your inability to manage your own flamboyant, capricious romantic expectations and dreary reality.

These good guys are co-workers, classmates, and, most importantly, friends. You officially have my permission as a relationship expert with a Ph.D. in Broken Hearts from the University of Feelings, Emoburg campus, to fall in love with your male friends.

I blame your gender, after all, for inventing what The Frisky site refers to as “The Friend Zone.” It’s not a “zone.” One loses weight in a “zone,” or tells time there. Or learns a dark lesson about human nature during a twist ending.

No. “The Friend Zone” is actually a gulag. The Bermuda Triangle. A cruel little exile. Right now, there is a man in your life who feels you in his teeth, but who walks around with an “F” for “Friend” seared onto his forehead by a glowing-red iron you keep perpetually cooking in the furnace of your heart. You cannot think of him “that way.”

At what point did he go from potential dating material to platonic bestie? Possibly the moment he started remembering your favorite alcoholic drink, instant messaging you about “Mad Men,” and listening to you drone on about your thighs, again. Because love is intently listening to someone repeat themselves.

The Frisky: How to ex-orcise him from your life

This dude adores you and you are denying yourself potential joy because of some imaginary rule. The heart is a frontier full of peril and plunder, and you should not be afraid to explore what lies beyond hastily built fences.

The Frisky: How to know when you’ve found The One

I’m not saying men and women can’t be friends. We totally can. I won’t confirm the famous lesson from “When Harry Met Sally,” which remains smug Baby Boomer treacle.

I don’t want to sleep with all my female friends. I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think that’s gender-specific. Just human curiosity.

So do it! Hook up with your dude friend. Life is too short to be afraid of ruining a friendship, especially if there’s a chance you could be more to one another, like epically cosmic lovers worthy of your own constellation in the night sky.

Friendships are as fluid as romances; they can end as suddenly as they can begin. In many ways, they’re overrated. You know what’s not overrated? Love. It’s awesome.

The Frisky: 10 reasons to consider going on a blind date

We’re talking about the meaning of life here. And it’s to find someone whom you can grow old, fat, and ugly with. Our romantic rituals revolve around complete strangers negotiating for sex, then attempting to become friends. It’s as if our society demands there’s a dating you and a real you, and a relationship happens when two people agree to abandon the mutual lie. Cut to the chase. Friends already know how to play, laugh, and forgive each other.

The Frisky: My BFF is in a controlling relationship

Two of my longest relationships were with women whom I had been friends with. I loved them both, initially from afar. In both instances, we stepped off a cliff together without looking like the Fool in most tarot card decks. We took a risk, molted out of our friendship, and transformed into something else. And there was that moment of recognition, where we both said “screw it,” took a risk, and realized that you can’t win big if you don’t gamble big. And a shot at conjugal and emotional bliss is quite a prize.

The Frisky: Should your boyfriend be your best friend

The first time, we were in the middle of a “Friends” marathon, and we took a break so she could shower. She came back with wet hair, and I had never seen her without make-up and when she plopped onto the couch, I kissed her. We both freaked out:

She stormed into the kitchen; I paced in a circle. Then we decided to make out some more. It helped. The second was a friend who proved to me she was no princess at a party by shot-gunning a can of beer. I immediately told her that I was falling for her, and she told me to wear a helmet. She kissed me, our quiet garden of a friendship suddenly a wildfire.

I wouldn’t say I’m friends with these women; we broke up for the reasons people break up — changing priorities, the mean little pianos life drops on your head. Maybe we would have drifted apart regardless. We’re not friends now, but I don’t regret giving it a shot. Kisses are the only things you can steal and never have to give back. And at least I’ll have those until the day I croak.

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Don’t Panic


This guy in Uruguay named Fede Alvarez posted this 4 minute and 48 second video on YouTube called Ataque de Panico (Panic Attack). He claims that he made this short film with only $300. Within three days of posting it onto YouTube he was getting calls from Hollywood studios and eventually signed a $30 million film deal sponsored by Sam Raimi, the director of Spiderman. The moral of the story: Don’t panic. If you are good enough at what you do, success will find you.

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, Movies | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How Much Do Her Friends Know About Your Sex Life?

By Stacey Grenrock Woods

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

4 Things to Never Joke About With Your Man

By Chris Connolly

For most guys, a kick-ass sense of humor in a woman ranks right up there with a nice rack. And though we pride ourselves on being able to take ribbing as well as we dish it out, some material is just no laughing matter to us. Consider the following subjects unsuitable comic fodder.

His Future Hair Loss

With the exception of Hollywood types like Vin Diesel, most guys with shiny chrome domes are not deemed the sexiest man alive. That’s why many guys stress about potential future loss. And if there’s even a hint of thinning, it’s certain to be a really sore subject. “I once had a date joke that I better grab a hat because it was chilly outside and she didn’t want my scalp to catch a cold,” says Rich*, 30. “Look I know my lid is starting to look a little lean, but I don’t need a woman reminding me…even if it’s in jest.”

His Paltry Payback

Yes, it’s a little Stone Age, but we men consider it our manly obligation to bring home the bacon. When our salary doesn’t stack up, we feel totally emasculated. It’s like we measure our worth in a relationship to our wallet (or at least we think you do). So you can see why kidding around about your sugar-mama status isn’t exactly our idea of stand-up. “I know it’s wrong, but I’m embarrassed that my girlfriend outearns me,” admits Andrew, 28. “She once made a quip about letting me stay home Mr.Mom -style while she supported us, and I lost it. We’ve since come to an understanding that until I hit the lottery or open my own restaurant, money is something that can’t be taken lightly.” Bottom line: It’s not that we don’t appreciate your alpha-female status. We just don’t want to be your beta boy toy.

His Mom

It’s a rule that dates back to the playgroud: Once you start dissing a boy’s mother, things are going to get ugly. Sure, he’s allowed to goof on her Hawaiian muumuus, burned Bundt cake, and obsession with Richard Simmons, but when you chime in, it’s a different story. “I love my mom to death. She’s a total character,” says Josh, 30. “I bust on her nonstop, and she gives it right back to me. But if my girlfriend added her two cents, I’d find it totally disrespectful.” Bonus tip: Sisters are untouchable too.

His Member

In a nutshell, keep Johnson jokes to yourself—especially if you ever want his penis to come out to play again. Our “boys” are serious business. There’s nothing comedic about commentary on any of the following: size (or more accurately, lack thereof), shape, and color. Just ask Bill, 26: “I’m sensitive about the fact that my package is a shade darker than the rest of my flesh. I was once with a girl who took one look, giggled, and named him the Dark Horse. It made me so self-conscious that I couldn’t perform.” Your best bet? Stay mute about his member…unless you feel compelled to characterize it as monstrous.

*Names have been changed.

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Maybe One Day We Can Not Be Friends

By: Kathryn Williams  

There is a debate raging across America’s heartland. It’s being discussed in our homes, our schools, our offices, the halls of Congress … okay, maybe not the halls of Congress. I’m not talking about the presidential election or health care reform or even American Idol. I’m talking about the perennial and heated question of whether or not one can or should be friends with her ex.

The funny thing is I always thought I fell squarely on one side of the debate. I always thought I was the girl who stayed buddy-buddy with her exes. I was all (cocky voice), “Yeah, I’m friends with like, all my old boyfriends.” How kind of me, huh? Especially as I’m always the dumpee rather than the dumper.

Liar. I was lying to myself and to the people I said it to. Only recently have I adjusted my thinking and accepted that, in most cases, I’m actually not friends with my exes—maybe friendly with them, but not friends—and that’s okay. This has kind of rocked my world.

Truthfully, there are only two guys I’ve dated who I am sincerely good friends with now, and that’s only after time and distance. We are past the weirdness, but only because we both realized early on that we were not meant to be together. These were not my life’s great loves or drawn-out affairs. This was a matter of dipping our toes in the water, feeling it was kind of chilly, and deciding to float on the raft and sun ourselves rather than take a swim. Catch my drift?

My ex/friends were exes in the denotation of the word but not the connotation. There was not excessive hand-wringing and sobbing uncontrollably on the bathroom floor when these courtships ended. There were a few tears because I am an overly emotional person, but there was no separation anxiety, no rehashing of past wrongs, no coming back together only to be painfully torn apart again. I do love these ex/friends, and I do not use that word lightly, but I love them in a platonic way that does not involve me wanting to take off my clothes.     Continue reading…

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Big Pussy

A neurotic nice-guy struggles to find the confidence to tell the girl he loves that her vagina smells

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Humor, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

16 Girls + 1 Bicycle = Awesome

16 Girls + 1 Bicycle = Awesome In case you missed it…

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Art/Culture, Health/Sports | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Is Your Sperm Too Old?

By Kevin Conley
While you’ve never been against the idea of a serious relationship, you are in no particular rush to become a schlub. The attendant trappings of new fatherhood—the preschool viewings, the sleepless nights, the humiliation of carrying a diaper bag—aren’t exactly calling out to you the way, say, another night slinging Pisco sours would. The ever-intensifying din of the proverbial biological clock? That’s for the opposite sex to worry about—you know, like periods, frizz, and whether Mr. Big will dump Carrie in the Sex and the City sequel. As far as you know, your little swim team of DNA carriers will be competing at Olympic level into Letterman age. So what’s the rush?

“I always thought my biological clock was the 36 hours I had left after I took my Cialis pill,” says Zack, a 30-year-old producer in Los Angeles. “That’s the only clock I’ve ever felt ticking.” Turns out, Zack might want to consider the unsung glories of fatherhood.

According to a study released last March in the Public Library of Science Medicine, children born to fathers who were 20 scored an average of 2 points higher on an IQ test than children born to 50-year-old fathers. And that’s not all. Recent studies from Israel, California, and Sweden have connected “late paternal age” with any number of serious medical conditions: The longer you wait, the more likely it is that your kid will be affected by schizophrenia, dwarfism, bipolar disorder, autism, Marfan syndrome, certain childhood cancers, or even, later in life, Alzheimer’s. In some cases, the risk factors skyrocket. A 2005 study conducted by the University of California, Los Angeles, found a fourfold rise in Down syndrome among babies born to men 50 and older. Worse still, those risk factors aren’t limited to your tweed-sporting years: Statistically, “late paternal age” starts at 30, as in Zack’s age. A 2006 study conducted by Mount Sinai School of Medicine found that fathers in their thirties have children with about 1.5 times the risk of developing autism compared with fathers in their teens and twenties. That factor jumps to five times for dads in their forties. The cherry on the cake? The American Society for Reproductive Medicine recommends that sperm banks do not accept specimens from men over 40.

“The biological clock for men and women is really the same,” says Dr. Dolores Malaspina of Bellevue Hospital Center in New York City and New York University, who conducted one of the first studies. “It’s just that men can keep having babies.”

The biology behind this isn’t hard to grasp: Starting in puberty, spermatogonia, the master copies for sperm production, replicate themselves every couple of weeks. After 300 to 500 copies—somewhere in your thirties—a meaningful number of small copy errors, or point mutations, start to emerge, which accumulate over time.

Yet, despite the alarming new science, most men greet parenthood with a sense of urgency that’s more in line with Zack’s than Angelina Jolie’s. The reason is simple: While women are inculcated with the risks of late-age motherhood in sixth-grade sex ed, men remain blissfully ignorant. Since the recent studies have been published, the bad news still doesn’t seem to be making it to the doctor’s office. Scott, a 32-year-old schoolteacher from Babylon, New York, decided to start a family when he was Zack’s age, strictly because he wanted to raise his child while he was young. “For me the doctors were like, ‘Hey, this is going to be good. You’re still active,'” Scott says. “Nobody ever told me about the medical risks of being an older dad.”

That’s because men don’t usually get this news flash until they’re looking through a microscope at a batch of fugly sperm with no sense of direction. Swain, a 37-year-old IT professional in Dallas, wishes he had heard sooner. “Who cares if the baby is born with six fingerswe can’t get that far,” he says. “I’d be thrilled to have that problem.” His wife is four years younger than he is, and they decided to wait. “What I did was let her clock be the one in control,” Swain says. “I would have been happy having kids five, six years ago, but she just wasn’t ready. The female clock seems to dominate the conversation.”

But don’t expect sweeping social change anytime soon. “Tell a man he’s got a chance of having kids with genetic abnormalities, and it’s like he’s going through the stages of the acceptance of death,” says Dr. Harry Fisch, a professor of urology and the author of The Male Biological Clock. “They’ll say, ‘I’m losing my manliness, my sexual ability.’ To them it all comes under the same umbrella.”

The good news is that no one, not even Malaspina, is suggesting that older men eschew the joys of fatherhood. But if you’re a younger guy who hasn’t thought twice about postponing it, be forewarned: The female of the species is about to get her just rewards. That bell tolling? It’s for you.

December 26, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Dining/Living, Love, News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘The Karate Kid’ Remake: Trailer With Jackie Chan & Jaden Smith (VIDEO)

Sony has debuted the first official trailer for The Karate Kid remake starring Jaden Smith as the kid and Jackie Chan as Mr. Han, the Mr. Miyagi like mentor he meets.
The Karate Kid, directed by Harald Zwart (The Pink Panther 2), stars Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, and Taraji P. Henson. Smith plays Dre, a skateboarding video game buff who moves to China after his single mother is forced to go there for work. Unable to speak Chinese, Dre finds it hard to settle in, and gets beat up by the local bully. Chan plays Mr. Han, a maintenance man who spots his black-eye and offers to teach him both martial arts and Chinese, so he can defend against all the kung-fu students. Sony is bringing The Karate Kid to theaters starting on June 11th, 2010 this summer. Will you be seeing this in theaters next year or not?

December 23, 2009 Posted by | News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ukelele Kid Becomes YouTube Star in One Week

In case you haven’t seen this one yet, here’s the latest YouTube sensation. This unknown kid has got some serious guitar picking skills. He nails every note of “I am Yours”, which is pretty darn impressive.

What’s even more impressive is how many people have watched this video. The video was discovered on Dec. 9 and within four days more than 3 million people had watched. Four days after that more than 6 million have watched it. Congrats you unknown ukelele-pickin’ master.

December 22, 2009 Posted by | Music | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment