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Top 10: Ways To Become An Evolved Man

via AskMen.com

If you want to become the kind of guy who attracts women automatically — and always has women in his life — it’s important that you become an “evolved man.” You need to operate on a higher level than the average Joe. When you do, you’ll stand out from other guys, attract the women you want and get a hell of a lot more out of life in the process. Here are 10 tips to help you evolve and grow as a man — starting today.

No.10 – Teach others what you learn

If you learn something great, the first order of business is to go teach it to as many people as you can. There’s something about teaching that makes the learning stick. If someone teaches you something and then you go teach it to someone else, it gets internalized deep within you. You’ll “get it” much faster. Teach others every great thing you learn — immediately. Then, when you need it in the future, it will pop up for you automatically. Women will notice, believe me.

No.9 – Enjoy the process of learning

I think it’s a tragedy that school is so boring. We have so much pain attached to the learning process that as soon as we get out of school we never want to learn anything again. However, if you learn how to love the process of learning even more than what you’re learning, you’ll spend the rest of your life learning new things and growing as a man. Continually look for new things to learn; heck, in the process you’ll meet women who love learning too.

No.8 – Accept anxiety

Anxiety happens whenever we’re taking on something new and we need to become a beginner again. Most guys won’t try new things because they’re afraid of looking like a dumbass. Because they’re afraid of getting embarrassed, they trap themselves at their current level of development. But when you’re willing to try new things — and even look silly for a while — you’ll be able to see things with new eyes, and it’ll bring tremendous benefit to your life. Accept anxiety as a good thing:  It means you’re learning something new.

No.7 – Focus on your inner game

Because we are so instant gratification-minded, we think techniques with women are where it’s at. But the truth is this:  When you work on your inner game and learn about the deeper principles that are at work, you’ll pick up the techniques along the way. If you learn from someone who just knows the tricks, when you get into real-world situations you won’t know when or how to use them when the situation changes slightly. However, if you hang out with more evolved masters who teach you the principles, it may take a bit longer, but you’ll see how the techniques fit into the bigger picture. You’ll be much better at executing the technique — and you’ll be much more successful. Don’t get seduced by techniques. Get deep.

No.6 – Travel

If you’re not regularly getting outside of that little bubble you live in, you’re limiting yourself and your perspective. When you expose yourself to new places, people and ideas, it’ll expand your mind and your view on things. I personally believe if everyone in the world could travel twice a year to far away countries, sit down with the people there and share a few meals, it would do a world of good. The more you travel and expand your mind, the more interesting a person you become, the more stories you have and the more attractive you become to women.

No.5 – Know your purpose in life

The incredible number of choices we have nowadays is a blessing — but it’s also a boat anchor tied around our necks, and we’re trying to swim. Confucius said: “Man who chases two rabbits catches none.” Exactly. We have so many options that most of us are confused about what path to take. We haven’t taken the time to sit down, block out all distractions and figure out what our own life purpose is. I believe you can find your purpose in life and clarify it over time. The more you act on it, the clearer it will become — and the bigger it will become. If you don’t know what your purpose is, go lock yourself in a room with a pad of paper and a pen and don’t do anything until you figure it out. Eventually, it’ll come to you. Few guys know that this is one of the most important things you can do to become incredibly attractive to women.

No.4 – Surround yourself with successful models

If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful models. One of the miracles of technology is that we can buy an audio or video recording, put on headphones and hear (or watch) the teachings of experts around the world, both living and dead. Compare this to plopping down on the couch, watching the news and complaining to your buddies about how screwed up the world is. Take 30 minutes a day to listen or watch a master of success, like Brian Tracy or Napoleon Hill, and your life will be transformed in a year. Try it.

No.3 – Stop giving approval to get it

Almost all of us guys do this one. If we find a woman we really like, we think if we let her do whatever she wants and get away with anything, she’ll love us and stay with us. In other words, we give approval in order to get it. There’s just one problem: It’s manipulative and will almost always backfire. If you’re not successful with women, you’re probably doing a lot of manipulative things you’re not aware of. Just because you’re sweet and nice doesn’t obligate her to be sweet and nice back. Dating doesn’t work that way.

No.2 – Stop seeking approval

People who seek approval are constantly doing things so that other people will accept them. They’re looking for cues to see if people approve of them, and they continually change their behavior to what they think other people will like. They end up wearing out their welcome and being needy — which absolutely kills attraction. Most guys do this without even  knowing it. Looking for the approval of women is like a drug: The more you get, the more you want, the worse it gets — and the less attractive you become. When you catch yourself seeking approval, shift gears and do something else. Women will love you for it.

No.1 – Stop apologizing

Most guys who face challenges with women and dating feel they need to apologize for everything they do that other people don’t like. Too many guys do this simply to get a woman’s approval, thinking if they make themselves weak and apologetic that somehow women will actually like it. Are you kidding? However, if you make it a rule to simply stop apologizing for everything, over time you’ll build a stronger self-image, take more responsibility in your life and let other people have their judgments without it affecting you. You’ll then be able to see when it’s truly appropriate to apologize. You’ll enjoy a nice boost to your personal power  and your ability to attract quality women.

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Dining/Living, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why You Need To Get Rid Of Bad Company

By Nate Steere  AskMen.com

If you’re trying to get ahead and improve yourself, you’ve taken steps to set yourself up for success. You’ve gotten in shape (mentally and physically), you’re working hard on yourself, and you’re reading books and articles with information you need. If you’re trying to make improvements, great work — most people try to get ahead by blaming their problems on their environment, and don’t take any of the blame for why they’re stuck in a rut.

However, there are ways your environment can drag you down — look at the people around you. If the people you’re friends with, or associate with at work, are a negative influence, guess what? You’re being influenced, whether you’re aware of it or not. Now, any of your friends can have a bad patch, and being there to pick them up when they’re down is part of friendship. But we’re talking about that other friend — the one whose idea of fun is always getting wasted, who can never chip in on the bill and always has a crisis they need help cleaning up. You ignore their calls, and the one time you do pick up feels like one too many. If you’re like most guys, you don’t seek out the company of these people, but when they initiate a meet-up, you tend to accommodate. It’s easy to say and hard to do, but here are four compelling reasons you need to cut ties.

They are shaping your attitude

Jim Rohn is a self-help author who famously said: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Your attitude, the way you look at the world, is influenced by who you spend time with. Think about it: Your worldview is shaped by the things you see and experience in the world. The way you invest your time in people and activities shapes the man you become. That’s why it’s so important for guys to travel, to see new things and expand their horizons. On the flip side, if you spend your time in a smoky bar, listening to somebody complain about how their job sucks, their boss sucks, their love life sucks, and there’s never enough money, it’s going to rub off on you. Do you leave these sessions feeling charged and ready to take on the world? No, they juice you up with negative energy and teach you to look at your life like a victim. That’s just a bad attitude — we’ve all had friends who get into too many fights, trouble with the law, drugs, and worse. You grow to fit your environment, so make sure your environment breeds excellence and positivity.

They are derailing you from your goals

Have you ever been driving home from work, with the plan to cook dinner, clean up around the house, throw in a load of laundry, exercise, save a cat that’s stuck in a tree, solve the Middle Eastern situation, read for a while, then work a little more on your plan to go into business for yourself? Then your phone rings with your buddies telling you to meet them at the bar. You tell yourself “I’ll do all that stuff tomorrow…,” and the next thing you recall is your alarm waking you up in the morning. Listen, plans change, and one of the best parts of being an adult is that you get to make responsible decisions about your life. You can eat pretty much whatever you want to for dinner. Feel like grabbing a DVD tonight? Go for it. And if the offer to do something fun comes along, by all means, rearrange your schedule and have a good time.

Here’s the hitch. When people constantly pull you away from those other areas of your life, it can cause you to become unbalanced. If you’re not achieving your personal goals, you need to balance it out — and your friends should be supportive of that. If taking a pass for the night causes them to tease you, or worse, make fun of your other goals, take a look at that. Granted, good friends bust balls left and right, but they truly want to see you succeed. Toxic friends, on the other hand, are afraid of seeing you succeed, as a reminder how they’re not succeeding in their own lives. If your friends aren’t respectful of your dreams and ambitions, they won’t respect the time you devote to those pursuits, and they’ll try and get you to come to the bar instead.

They’re costing you money

Have another look at the Jim Rohn quote in the first tip. This is outstanding advice in all aspects of friendship, but it’s especially true when it comes to the area of personal finance. Another speaker, Randy Gage, adapted this quote to read, “You earn the average of the salaries of the five people you spend the most time with.” More excellent advice! You’re reading this article, so you’re the kind of person who recognizes wisdom when he sees it. Then again, go ahead and prove Gage right: Grab a piece of paper, list the names of the five people you spend the most time with (a total of five from your work and personal life, typically), write down their approximate salaries (it’s always less than they lead you to believe), add ’em up, and divide by five. This will probably be very close to what you earn. So, what’s the lesson? If you want more money, hang out with rich people? Not at all. Success in business is related to drive, hard work, persistence, and a hundred other qualities. High earners bring value to their companies and are rewarded for it. Their outer reality reflects their inner reality. Thus, hang out around people who give value to their companies. They’re much more likely to give value to their friends as well.

You’re hurting them

OK, so if none of the above arguments have influenced you at all, what about this one? By being accepting of the company of toxic people, you’re not just hurting yourself, you’re hurting them. Ouch! But it’s true; by being available to hang out and hear all of your friends’ problems, you are allowing them to continue in their negativity. If they have a sympathetic ear and a cold beer on hand to deal with their sorrow, they’re going to continue using negativity as a path through life. Problems are meant to challenge us, to make us grow by rising to the occasion. It’s not always easy, but the true path around a problem is through it: stepping up, manning up and solving what needs to be solved. By always being sympathetic when your friends complain, you’re allowing them to be beat by the problems in their lives. That’s right: Now you’re the one being a bad friend.

Being a good man

Hopefully, these points have convinced you to stop spending time and energy on the toxic people in your life. But, also don’t get confused about the point here. Everyone has ups and downs, and the time will come where your true friends need somebody to listen, a shoulder to cry on or even some real help. None of that makes your friend a negative person. You can tell the difference between somebody having a bad day, bad month or even a bad year, versus a person who is in the dumps because they are choosing to be. So don’t abandon your friends — friendship is one of the very best parts of life. And don’t tolerate the people who use you as a crutch — you’ll end up smelling like an armpit. 

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Dining/Living | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment