The Neanderthal Post

Survival of the Blog

Decoding Men’s Oddball Love Signals

WebMD Feature from “Redbook” Magazine

By Ty Wenger

Fifteen years ago, I found myself in a romantic pickle: Cheryl, a woman I had been dating for about three months, was nearing her 25th birthday. The birthday gift in any three-month-old relationship is a dicey one, and I deliberated over it for weeks. Too big too soon and it could look like I was trying too hard. Too little and I might appear indifferent. Too romantic and I’d run the risk of setting the bar too high.   And so it was with great enthusiasm that I finally unveiled the gift. It was heavy — about 8 pounds. And big — the size of a bowling ball. In fact, as Cheryl discovered after excitedly tearing off the wrapping paper, it was a bowling ball. And not just any bowling ball, but a blue, personalized bowling ball (“The Spanker,” the twin to the 12-pounder I had bought myself: “The Wanker”). And the pièce de résistance: Both balls came in matching brown pleather bags.

Hoisting the ball onto her lap, Cheryl turned to me. I saw several emotions pass across her face: shock, confusion, profound disappointment, then her dawning realization that how she responded to this present — this idiotic present — might well determine the fate of our relationship. She looked down, collected her thoughts, and raised her eyes to mine. “I love it!” she lied. “Let’s go bowling tonight!”   Four years later, despite the bowling ball, Cheryl consented to marry me — and we have lived happily ever after. (And, yes, we still have the balls, and the pleather bags, and we bowl about as much as we did in the first three months of our relationship, which was almost never.) In fact, it could be argued that the success of our marriage owes, in part, to that very moment. Because on that day (and many, many days thereafter) my wife made a conscious choice: to see my hapless effort at romance not as a personal affront but as a love note written by a man in his own foreign language.

“Men do affection in ways that are not easily recognizable to women,” explains couples coach Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Why Men Are the Way They Are. “The fundamental difference is that men tend to do, and women tend to talk — and much gets lost in translation. He feels frustrated, misunderstood; she feels like he just doesn’t care. If you can learn to read the signals he’s trying to send, however, he’s going to feel like his method of loving is being appreciated. He’ll probably feel like a good person. And then he’ll be more open to hearing something else — like how he could be even better.” The point is, once you recognize your guy’s less-than-smooth gestures as the clumsy signs of affection they are, you’ll probably realize that he is grateful for you in more ways than you ever knew.

So how, exactly, do we big dunderheads express our love for you? Let us count the ways.  Continue reading…

December 17, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Health/Sports, Love | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Understanding The Female Orgasm

When it comes to the female orgasm, most guys are confused. This is understandable considering that many men are clueless regarding the different types of orgasms and stimulations that can be given, not to mention if a certain part of the vagina has to be manipulated in order to give a woman an earth-shattering orgasm. Well, if you’re among the bewildered, have heart; today’s tip will help you understand the female genitalia and the female orgasm inside and out. what happens? When a woman orgasms, regardless of which area of her body you’re manipulating, her body physically reacts in the same way. During an orgasm, she feels: stimulation in her clitoris her heart rate, blood pressure and breathing increase tension builds within her pelvis muscles contract throughout her body, especially in the vagina, uterus, rectum, and pelvic floor tension is released upon orgasm.

Blue Clitoris
Believe it or not, it is possible for women to get what is often called “blue balls” in men. As you know by now, the clitoris and penis are remarkably similar after conception, but males go on to develop penises.  If a woman gets incredibly turned on, her clitoris, like the penis, becomes engorged with blood. If the blood isn’t released via orgasm, she will experience discomfort — just as men do.  So when you tease her, you build up awesome tension, and when she finally orgasms, it will be an explosion of release. Keep in mind, however, that roughly 26% of women have difficulty reaching orgasm. And usually, it’s her own mental block that keeps her from reaching orgasm — it’s not you.  Keep reading at AskMen.com

November 25, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex, Health/Sports | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Talk to Your Man So He’ll Listen

Communicate with your man with these expert tips and you’ll never–we repeat, never– get tuned out by him again.

Ever notice how even the nicest guy can act like an insensitive dolt when you’re trying to convey something important—your fear of being fired, that you’re drifting apart from your best friend, even how bummed you are that the two of you have hit a sexual dry spell? It’s not that he doesn’t care—really it isn’t—it’s just that men process information much differently than women, and as a result, your words often get lost in translation. But don’t stress, the solution is simple: Learn how to talk to your man. We’ve got great communicating tips.    Continue reading…

November 22, 2009 Posted by | Dating/Sex | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment